sing when you're wanking
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

HDB

Unveiling of upgrading plans mean election is around the corner

It's becoming a ritual that the government unveils upgrading plans every four years, so much so that it has a signalling effect that the elections are around the corner. Plans are being made to provide a elderly friendly environment in HDB estates , which is a good thing given increasingly greying population in Singapore. It is a mystery why opposition wards like Potong Pasir and Hougang are not included in the upgrading plans. Maybe there aren't many senior citizens staying there....Herm..

Oh by the way, can the government bring back the New Singapore Shares and Economic Restructuring Shares for the generation of voters that weren't eligible the last time round? We promise to be dutiful voters and do the right thing at the upcoming general election.


Airing Dirty Linens


My "dear" neighbours living above me simply love hanging their laundries at their balcony's window. The stuffs they hanged ranges from wet bed sheets that dangled over my window to freshly washed school shoes where water drips like a faulty faucet. But to hang this.......

Image(283)

(It's a piece of bra, in case you are still wondering what it is)

It certainty doesnt bode well for my upcoming mahjong games during the holiday season.


Unidentified Black Object

To all HDB dwellers, can anyone I.D what's this black object that is found at the lift landing?

Image(281)


posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:20 AM
Saturday, November 26, 2005

holes

what's the difference between a hole in a parachute and one in a condom?

(highlight below for answer)

the former destroys a life while the latter creates one


Random Picture of the Day

Image(273)

Entertaining myself while waiting for food to digest during buffet massacre

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 4:04 PM
Thursday, November 24, 2005

macbrown

With all the hoohaa surronding Roy Keane's departure from Manchester United, eyes were glued onto the TV screen over the weekend hoping Manchester United falters against Charlton. The naysayers were left disappointed as Manchester United cruised through the match, with Captain Ruud Vanhorsefacenisterooly bagging a brace.

However tyw made a stunning discovery, beating the British tabloids in uncovering the identity of Manchester United's new sponsor after the withdrawal of Vodafone. While the new sponsor can only officially has their logo emblazoned on the famous red jersey of Manchester United when the 2006/07 season kicks off, they found an ingenious way to market their company through a certain Mr.Wes Brown.


brown

You might be thinking "Eh, what's the point?". Maybe the picture below might give more clues.


mac & brown

Still can't see the link? One more picture to jolt your analytical skills.


macbrown


There you go, Mr. Wesly MacBrown, the new marketing sporting icon. Soon The Golden Arches will printed right on the famous red jersey. A marriage between two global brands., all made possible by Mr.Wesly MacBrown.


(Picture of Wes Brown courtesy of Gettyimages)

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:11 PM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005

MSN Nick

Nov21 around 1330

贪淫伪: how i wish the weather would be like this everyday

Nov21 around 1530

贪淫伪:ok i take back my words. if the weather is like this everyday, i'd probably die from rupturing my bladder.


Took me two hours to realise that the fats acculmulated over the years is a poor insulator of heat.



Random Picture of the Day

PICT0012


Cheer Chen's awesome concert. Shall post a review of it when i feels like it. (Picture Courtesy of a messageboard poster on www.cheerego.com)

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:07 AM
Thursday, November 17, 2005

So if i zhng* myself,can i be a celebrity too?

So apparently the uber chio blogger that got featured on TNP over a week ago was, to put it mildly, "man made". Despite the furore over her artificially enhanced looks, she has received two endorsements, two movie offers and two magazine covers to date. (good things certainly do come in pairs eh)


This got me wondering, if i zhng myself, can i be a celebrity too? More importantly, who can i zhng myself into to make the talent scouts come knocking on my door?

Candidate 1: Jay Chou

jay

Pros:

  • Can save on the double eyelids operation
  • His hair is thinning, so is mine!
  • Can out-mumble him anytime
  • Can be a cheaper alternative for him in Initial D2 since i'm on my way of attaining the eluvsive driving license
Cons:

  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Doesn't possess even an ounce of his talent
  • Will probably have to use a pencil to achieve that designer stubble look

Candidate 2: Rain

rain

Pros:

  • Can save on the double eyelids operation
  • He possesses a 42 inch chest, so do I!(albeit all fats)
Cons:

  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Growing my hair to that length would make me look more like Hulk Hogan than Rain
  • Will probably be confine to wheelchair for life if i attempt to dance like him


Candidate 3: Bae Yong Joon

bae_l

Pros:
  • Can save on the Lasik operation
  • Easy job being Master Bae, just give a megawatt smile and waves to the crowd of adoring females
Cons:
  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Suspectible to facial cramps and numbness from perpetually smiling

Candidate 4: Homer Simpson

bighomer

Pro:

  • Can eat doughnuts and drink Duff beer all day long! Woohoo!
  • Just 2 strands of hair, minimal upkeeping of hair required
  • Getting to meet celebrities like Mel Gibson, Bono and even Tony Blair
  • Can save on Liposuction
Cons:

  • Even a serious case of jaundice can't give me a skin color like Homer



*zhng- Hokkien slang for modifying

(PS: The above are all done tongue in cheek and in no ways meant to insult the artistes featured above. Please do not send me any hate mails or chicken heads.)



Random Quotes of the Day


千万不要倒着念“大牛比较懒”,“愿你记住我”和”我坚强复国”。

Jacky Wu, during a recent episode of <<天才向前冲>>

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:18 PM
Monday, November 14, 2005

Poor Jocie

Poor Jocie Guo Mei Mei. First she gets pushed as the gal without a nose, singing about mighty mouse’s obsession with rice. Now she appears on TV regularly, telling the whole Singapore that she ain’t afraid of cockroaches in the most irritating “Mai yi ya heeeee~~~~~” manner. I mean who did Miss Guo offend to deserve such fate? While the cockroaches song may go down well with the pre-schoolers, primary kiddos and maybe the aunties, it will probably alienates the contemporary music crowd given the potential of the cockroaches song being another irritating and detestable tune like Macarena after the fifth hearing.

So what’s next for Miss Guo? Either a) she will sing more songs on pests and animals or b) grow a nose. If it’s the former, I would love it if she sings about the likes houseflies and ants. Imagine having song titles like苍蝇真黑心 (hor sim jin or xim in hokkien) and 黑蚂蚁的大兄 (or gao hia aa dua hia in hokkien), confirm bring in the money sia. And with a discography of pest related songs, Miss Guo can be position as the next Baygon spokesperson or even as the Singapore’s ambassador against dengue mosquitoes and (got forbid) Bird Flu. My idea is so good that i think Playmusic should should hire me to help them market Miss Guo.


Random Picture of the Day

092 Eddie Guerrero store


RIP Eddie. Thanks for the memories.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:28 PM
Friday, November 11, 2005

words of wisdom from James

James, a name that often crops up on this site, provided not one but two quote worthy conversational bits for this entry.

On Banking products

"Banking products are just like milk. It just how you package it."


On HR personnels

"HR personnels are like your lifeguards. Everyday they sit down and do nothing, but they are the most important people in times of distress."

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:55 PM
Monday, November 07, 2005

Come on!!!

it's the time of the year whereby 200 poor sods are squeezed inside a bloody hall, coercing their hands to keep up with their minds, or their minds with their hands. No, im talking about the examinations and not some mass wanking session.


like any other seasoned exams veteran, tyw has a set of rituals that he adhered strictly to during the examnination period.


1) Wear anything like this,

Image(217)

this,

Image(218)

this,

Image(219)

or this

Image(271)

as long as it's black and white.


2) Listen to

  • Cake's I will survive
  • Triple H's Theme Song (circa dX days)
  • Queen's We will rock you
  • 五月天's 摇滚本事
  • 柯有伦's 零
3) Buy a pack of lemon flavored (die die must be this flavor) Fisherman's friends and chew on those during the paper

Image(278)


Random Pictures of the Day

Image(275)

Image(276)

Taking a leaf outta fmq's blog, here's pictures of FOOD! Hairy crabs, bloody tasty roes. Why can't they ovulate more?

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:41 PM
Thursday, November 03, 2005

the post on wanking

It came to my attention that my entries of late had been rather too "nice". Not risque and titilating enough for a blog with the url theyodellingwanker. I must have disappointed the legions of sex crazed people who stumbled onto my blog, hoping to unearth some quality porn. Especially the guys who were directed to my site after searching for "Peeing while ejaculation" and "Gay Masturbation". Therefore, i have decided to shed my Mr. Nice Guy tag for once and post some provocative pictures of various acts of self gratification. You have been warned.


































Image(270)

"打飞机" or Shooting the Airplane




Image(269)

Spanking the monkey



Bae-Yong-Jun_b

Mast(e)rBa(e)tion


Random Quote of the Week

"If China produces and consumes so much rice, how come the pugilists in the wuxia flicks always eat mian and mantou?"


James, commenting on China's obession or lack thereof with rice

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:44 AM
verbal ejaculation









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