sing when you're wanking
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Saturday, January 29, 2005

the return of the king

this is a demostration on inappropriate use of subject line. the above subject line has no particular inkling on what im going to ramble about in the below post.


1. newcastle is doomed if souness stays on as the manager.

this man/beast/bastard (watever u wanna call him) has zilch man management skills. his past records indicated that he fell out with andy todd,david dunn,dwight yorke,andy cole at blackburn. probably we were over optimistic when he was tasked to whipped the bad boys into shape. what he did was alienate the two most creative players in the squad, though bellamy isnt really free of blame as he feigned injury to avoid playing on the right wing. bottomline, souness has to go

2. congratulatory notes

congrats to miss yyy for doing well in the sch pageant.
happy bday to wanyi, u r now officially an old woman

3. chio bus sightings on mrt

saw a chio bu on the train today. not particulary stunning, but definitely my type. slightly chubby on the cheeks,bunny teeth. she looked dejected on the train, wanted to give her a hug to cheer her up. but too bad this is not an anarchy society and im not bae yong jun.

4. farewell

this coming tuesday will see my ex roomie, cum fren of ten yrs leaving for korea for a semester of kimchi fun. hope you dont eat gou gou over there and take more pics of chio bus to circulate to your ham sup frens back in spore.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:16 AM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Ode to the Nice Guys

ric highlighted this rant to me. shamelessly lifted from hall 15 forum


This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:56 PM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005

linguistic chameleon

Question 1:

been wondering, if you meet someone new, would you speak to him in english or mandarian?(assume he/she is a chinese)

bumped into peiying and chuanjin today. so started a conversation with them.

me: eh,你们去那里leh?

cj : 我们要去popular bookshop

py : hey, i thought you converse in english one?!

me: okay, should where are you guys heading to?

me: can i switch back to chinese now?

conversation continued in chinese thereafter.....


Question 2:

if you started out speaking to someone you just met in a particular language, must we continue to converse with them in that language even though you know the person is equally well versed in speaking the other language?



posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:31 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005

urban legends

if you guys have been observant enough, you would probably notice this long, unsightly scar on my left knee.

many versions on how i got this scar have been circulating around the grapevines. here's three of the best theory bout my scar. only one is true.


Version 1 (Usually told to guys,trying to act gung ho)

i am a righteous person who can't stand people who take advantage of the weak. One day i chanced upon this bunch of ah bengs extorting money from this dork. One by one , i took those mafia wannabes with little hassle. However, one sneaky beng took his parang toh and slashed my left knee while i was exacting the choke slam on another. Even with my knee brutally slashed open, i managed to fight off the remaining see ah bengs. Grimacing with the excruciating pain, i staggered home and use a home sewing kit and sew the wound. Hence explains such an unsightly scar.

Version2 (Usually told to gals, trying my best to impersonate carebear)

on my way home, i saw this really cute kitten, cute as in puss in the boots kinda cuteness, strolling along the pavement. The sudden appearance of this mean looking black stray dog scared the wits out of this cute pussy and it reacted by dashing onto the road to avoid the mean doggie. the cat was dashing right smack into the path of this yellow citycab, and seconds away from facing a certain death. unable to see such a cute critter perish, i dive onto the road and thescoop the kitten and threw it onto the grass patch. While i managed to save the kitty, my knee took a knock from the yellow citycab resulting in a shattered knee. But such a sacrifice was worth it when i saw the kitty safe and running around again.

(ps. a few seconds later, the kitty was chewed to pieces by the black dog.)

Version 3(Usually told to MOs, try my best to keng downgrade)

sir, i hurt my knee while playing soccer lah.. the ligament just snapped lidat lor..sibei suay...not like i want to chao keng one lah..pls give me excuse for RMJ and parade leh..knee pain la..buay tahan


posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:30 PM

the attack of the fat beng


New Specs Posted by Hello

Bro commented i looked like a FAT Beng wearing this.. herm...

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:12 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005


Ushering the new year witha game of Winning Eleven Posted by Hello

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 2:00 AM
verbal ejaculation









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