Thursday, November 23, 2006

Headline News

How To Stop Panda Extinction? Try Porn :

Porn is good. Repeat after me, porn is good.

(AP) After years of painstaking research, scientists say they have unleashed a baby boom among one of the world's most beloved but endangered animals, China's giant panda.

A bit of panda porn has helped too, they say. (more...)

Falling birthrates? Legalized porn is your answer.



The Forbes Fictional 15:

Who says those working in the finance sectors don't have a sense of humour. (Or maybe the stress has really gotten to them)

The biggest change to this year's list comes at the very top. For the first time in the Fictional 15's history, Santa Claus has been unseated from the number-one spot, replaced by defense contractor Oliver ''Daddy'' Warbucks.

We still estimate Claus' net worth as infinite, but we excluded him from this year's rankings after being bombarded by letters from outraged children insisting that Claus is "real." We don't claim to have settled the ongoing controversy concerning Claus' existence, but after taking into account the physical evidence--toys delivered, milk and cookies devoured--we felt it was safer to remove him from consideration. (more...)

Besides the Santa jibe, I am also tickled by the appearance of one Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria. Prince WHO?, I heard you say. He's the guy from those emails that you delete faster than a blink of the eye. Of course, he's the same guy from Nigeria who needs your financial help to help him get his vast inheritance. It's also heartening to see that the world's most hardworking plumber, Mario, managed to squeeze into the list after collecting gold coins for donkey years. Way to go, Mario!


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