Random Ejaculations

Just when I wept tears of joy after being informed of my impending SDU membership, the government decided to close down the government run dating agency. 死了死了,怎么办!?

During my free time, i dabbled in a bit of alchemy too. Here's a recipe which I came up over the weekend. Add a generous amount of Calsberg, Tiger Beer, Steamed Crab, Sambal Prawn, Fried Noodle, Scrambled Egg with Prawn, Sushi, Durian Puff, Durian Strudel, Chicken Pie, Curry Chicken, Tapioca Pastry, Jackfruit Cake and Mocha Milkshake and let it simmer in a human conduit for 24 hours to get a Merlion.

Over the weekend, my friend passed me the testimonial written by my superior for the short stint back in the army. While it gave a glowing account of my short stint back in the army, I couldn't help but laugh at some of the exaggerated and dramatic phrases employed."Volunteered himself...","With his maturity, motivation and knowledge....","consistently demonstrated his maturity, discipline and independence...." I feel privileged to have a soldier of his character, knowledge and competence under my command." I wonder if my commanding officer would still think so highly of me if he had caught me taking extended tea breaks and sleeping while he wasn't around.


(click to enlarge)

4D fans, here's four digits for you. 5-5-1-6, the exact game time when the perennially injured Newcastle dud Kieron Dyer made a return to action against Manchester City last week. One week later, he scored a beautifully taken goal at Arsenal's Emirate Stadium to steal a draw against the mighty Gunners. Please only provide porn magazines or videos as offerings when you strike it rich with the number I provided.

After numerous installments, I still can't figure the reason behind the popularity behind the 007's franchise. Espionage actions don't interest me, neither do fast cars. Steamy liaisons with the Bond Girls rock my world, but they are only fleeting in film time. If only they just release a Bond flick with nothing but Bond Girls frolicking on screen........

One of this days, I an looking forward to seeing the reaction of the drink stall auntie when I place an order for a cup of "忘情水".

So which is cheaper, Chinese or Vietnamese brides?