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Monday, October 25, 2004
Your Personality Type: The Giver
You're a classic Giver who's loving, helpful, generous, and compassionate.
You see the best in other people and in humanity in general. Because your heart is open, you help other people open their hearts, too.
You could easily be the person behind a wildly successful spouse or friend, because you're great at supporting and empowering others. You're incredibly modest and humble, so you're more comfortable seeing someone else get the credit and be in the limelight.
You're the most helpful and compassionate of the personality types. So much so, that if you pass a stray dog on the street, it probably kills you not to be able to bring it home. In fact, you have a habit of collecting human "strays," too, who are brokenhearted (or just plain broke). You take them into your life and your heart, and you feed them with praise and support till they gain back their strength and self-confidence.
Of course, sometimes you do too much for others and become drained physically, emotionally, and even financially. You're not especially good at letting people know what you need. In fact, you try hard to hide when you're feeling bad. That sweet smile goes on your face and no one knows that you're hurting.
Your love style:Destined
For you, falling in love is like being reunited with the other part of yourself that finally gives meaning to everything in your life. This "soul mate" completes you. You empower each other to be the best you can be. You get each other's jokes and love the same books and movies. You talk until you go hoarse. You enjoy an intimacy that most people can't even imagine.
The downside of the Destined love style is that you typically have to search for years and years (and go on lots of bad dates) to find this type of love. Destiny is on your side, but doesn't always follow your timeline. Also, the intense mental, emotional, and spiritual bonding you go through can at times get in the way of just having fun or enjoying great sex. Given how hard it is to find a potential soul mate, it's easy to understand why you would take it so seriously. Just don't forget the equally silly and sexy aspects of love.
Your approach to love can change over time. You may go through periods when you need a more casual love style, especially after a painful breakup with a potential soul mate. For now, the common features of your love "style" include:
You're looking for a very close, intimate relationship. You want to share every aspect of your life with her and not hold anything back. This means knowing about each other's pasts, including the unflattering parts. Most importantly, though, you should be very open and totally honest about your life now. If you love her, you'll want to know about her hopes and dreams, as well as her fears and insecurities.
Love means sharing your life completely with someone. Her friends and family become your friends and family, and vice versa. Love requires sacrifice, and at times this means giving up parts of your own life so you can share a life together.
Like the song says, "If you want to know if she loves you so, it's in her kiss." You want passionate kisses and won't settle for anything less. The two of you will probably be instantly attracted to each other. You're not a purist who thinks love is a saintly connection between "friends." You have plenty of friends. You want a lover!
Both partners have to decide when they're ready to make a commitment. You have to be sensitive to each other's needs. One shouldn't be kept waiting indefinitely, nor should the other feel rushed. The two of you have to agree on the level of commitment that makes sense given your feelings and how long you've been together.
Your Biggest Challenge Is:Can you put your needs and wishes first?
Many Givers struggle with insecurities and fear that they aren't okay just as they are. You feel that you have to put someone else's needs ahead of your own in order to win their love and acceptance. To get a sense of how big an issue this is, ask yourself: "How differently would I live my life if the only one I had to please was me?"
Givers like you have to make a conscious effort to do nice things for themselves (like get a massage, get enough sleep, take time to exercise or read) every day. Doing these things will remind you that you're valuable and important just as you are. The more uncomfortable this makes you feel, the more you need to do it!
You'd probably also benefit from spending some extended time alone. With no one around to take care of, you get to practice listening to your own needs and wishes. Go to bed when you want to; eat what you want to eat; stay busy or be lazy. Remind yourself how good it feels to take care of your own needs first.
While you're taking care of yourself, you may also want to consider tackling some other potential areas for improvement:
You need motivation and direction. You have tons to offer to the world, but could use a kick-start sometime to get going. Try to jump on any interests you have and run with it.
It's hard to trust other people completely. It's even harder for you to let yourself depend on them. The key is taking it slowly. Gradually open up and let yourself rely on other people. Relationships have to keep growing. So you may have to push yourself beyond what you're comfortable with to let your life be truly interconnected with other people.
It's easy for you to escape into your own inner world. At times it can be easier to ignore real world problems and slip into your daydreams. You may find balance by using your fantasy life to imagine ways around your real world obstacles. Perhaps your mind is showing you a path out of your troubles if you can read the symbols.
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CreditsDesigned by mela | Image from Get Fuzzy from comics.com