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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Road trip, Singapore Style

I'm sure many of you are like me, envious of those people like jielin and Mr X currently on student exchange at some nice nice country. Envious of the culture that they will experience, food that they get to eat, gals/guys that they get to ogle, and especially road trips that they so often embark on to visit other states of their adopted nations.

Fret now, theyodellingwanker is here to help! I will now teach you on how to conduct a road trip, in the tiny land of Singapore!Tried and tested by me on last friday too!

Checklist

Car
Driver
Friends
A destination, preferably a far one
A topic to chat while on the trip
Booze

Preparation for the trip

I would very much like to drive my friends around in my Lego® car, but they have strong objections against it.wonders why? Since none of us actually owns a car, we had to settle for the next best thing, hiring a cab.

So unless you are living in GTA world, you can't probably jack a taxi and kill the cab driver without having getting your ass owned by the law enforcers. So that pretty much settle the driver issue.

Get friends that you can really talk cock sing song play mahjong with, or not the whole journey would be spent listening to the sound of traffic. For my case, i engaged the company of James Dingo Groan,Siao Kia and Melvin; who were friends since secondary school days.

Here comes the tricky bit. Singasnore is just a small dot, or a piece of booger as proclaimed by the Taiwanese Foreign Minister, that travelling from end to end of the island takes around an hour or so. It's also difficult to clock huge mileage without having to utilise your passport at the causeway immigration. Choosing the route is very important, unless you are travelling during the peak hours.

Unless you are on a journey with not so close friends, you probably need not plan in advance on what to say during the journey. As for us, the topic will inevitably drift towards porno in the end...

As with all successful road trips, booze is a necessity. Helps to settle the nerves and remove all inhibitions. Too bad, we dont want to spend our friday night cleaning up a cab soaked with puke. However, we still managed to achieve the effect of boozing without resorting to a tinge of alcohol.(More on that later)

The Journey

Lessons ended at 530, ended up waiting for Dingo to finish his at 630pm. A 10 mins wait and Siao Kia and Melvin arrived to pick us up on a Yellow CitiCab. An ominous sign which sets the tone for the whole ride. The taxi uncle was a friendly chap, one who i'm sure will chat with us throughout the journey if we hadn't being so noisy throughout the trip.

So NUH off we went, via the tried and tested AYE route. The journey towards AYE from NTU was smooth flowing, punctuated by banters and laughters between us. Yours truly made a supposedly gaffe by mentioning Maybank to be a local bank. To set the record straight, being a 2nd year BNF student, i know my local banks as proficiently as my ABCs. To overwhelm you with my banking knowledge, the three local banks still in operation are Tat Lee Bank, Keppel Bank and OUB Bank.

Remembered i mention about the punity of Singasnore earlier on? And how quick it is to travel from point to point, making it hard to have road trips? That's probably true unless you are travelling in a car stuck in the midst of a massive afterwork pile up. This provide a good extension of time to mimic the actual road trip settings in foreign land. The long wait in line provided us the perfect opportunity to interact too. Cracking the lewdest and dirtiest jokes by now, the small cab was filled with laughter.

Pity that the journey was punctuated by numerous stops caused by the jam. The jerky journey resulted in 3 of us developing a bad case of nauseousness. Even without booze, we managed to stumble into a drunken stupor with Siao Kia threatening to merlion into Dingo's bag while yours truly was supressing the urge to show the cab driver the content of my lunch.

45 minutes later, with close to 20 mins stuck in the massive jam, we reached NUH with $13.80 lighter in the wallet, and lighter in weight for another person after he emptied his day's worth of food into the NUH toilet. Being a person who can keep secrets and someone who turns his nose at gossiping about others, i refuse to reveal who dirtied the NUH toilet.

Conclusion

There you go, this is how you can embark on a road trip, Singasnore style. As easy as ABCs, as tried and test to great effect by the four of us.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:49 PM

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