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Friday, April 22, 2005

integrated health centres

Hot on the heels of allowing two integrated resorts to be build in Singapore, i can reveal that there are plans by Bingabore to open a integrated health centre to counter that.

You may wonder what is a integrated health centre. The name integrated health centre is actually an euphemism for brothels, coined by the government to reduce the stigma associated with the traditional brothels.

The sudden change in the government's attitude towards prostitution is not surprising. In line with the government's friendly stance towards foreign talents, the opening of the integrated health centres(IHC) will allow talents from over the world to work in Bingabore. It is projected that the IHC can attract talents from regional nations, Japan, China, the former Soviet nations and even talents from South American countries. The influx of such immensely talented foreign workers will no doubt boost our economy and help to elevate the existing standards of our local workforce.

The tourism sector will also receive a much needed boost with the IHC. Firstly, it will put a stem of Bingabore citizens' forays to regional countries for some merry making. With the amassing of talents in Bingabore, the local citizens will cut back on their regular trips oversea and instead put their money back into the country's coffers. Besides that, the IHC will also entice the tourists to extend their stay. Researchs have shown that the average length of stay by visitors is 3 days. The government hopes that the IHC will help to extend that, and also help to increase the average expenditure by the tourists.

Strong emphasis has been placed on the fact that the brothel will only take up 2 to 3 percent of the floor space at the IHC. Men need not worry about the dearth of activities for their family while they seek to enjoy themselves as the remaining 97% floor space will be taken up by shopping malls, hotels, F & B outlets and amusement parks. There are also plans to cater to the female visitors as the government is in the midst of neogotiating with popular male strip bars and gigolo houses to set up operations at the IHC. If the above mentioned plans materialise, expect revenue to double as the female counterparts engage in some tit for tat activities to spite their other halves. But be rest assured, currently there are no plans to hire Steven Lim from Singapore to perform at our IHC.

The integrated resorts by Singapore are likely to generate 38,000 jobs for their economy. However the IHC proposed by Bingabore is likely to generate even more jobs. Not counting the number of foreign talents, the IHC is still likely to generate 40,000 jobs. Besides the shopping malls, hotels, F & B outlets and amusement parks mentioned earlier, pimps, police, counsellors, private detectives are in demand with the opening of the IHC.

Addressing the fears that Bingaboreans will be socially corrupted with the introduction of legalised prostitution in the country, the government has place a $100 entrance fee to deter local citizens from entering the brothel in the IHC. To counter the likely social problems associated with the IHC, Bingabore is planning to be the No. 1 centre to deal with social problems like marital breakdown, sex addiction and a whole load of other sex related woes. Beside dealing with the social issues, Bingabore also aims to be the No.1 healthcare destination for STD patients, specialising in dealing with all kinds of sexual diseases ranging from genital herpes, gonorrhea to even HIV.

Only time will tell whether Bingabore government's move to gamble with the country's social morality for economical progression will be successful.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:18 AM


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