sing when you're wanking
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Thursday, November 17, 2005

So if i zhng* myself,can i be a celebrity too?

So apparently the uber chio blogger that got featured on TNP over a week ago was, to put it mildly, "man made". Despite the furore over her artificially enhanced looks, she has received two endorsements, two movie offers and two magazine covers to date. (good things certainly do come in pairs eh)

This got me wondering, if i zhng myself, can i be a celebrity too? More importantly, who can i zhng myself into to make the talent scouts come knocking on my door?

Candidate 1: Jay Chou



  • Can save on the double eyelids operation
  • His hair is thinning, so is mine!
  • Can out-mumble him anytime
  • Can be a cheaper alternative for him in Initial D2 since i'm on my way of attaining the eluvsive driving license

  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Doesn't possess even an ounce of his talent
  • Will probably have to use a pencil to achieve that designer stubble look

Candidate 2: Rain



  • Can save on the double eyelids operation
  • He possesses a 42 inch chest, so do I!(albeit all fats)

  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Growing my hair to that length would make me look more like Hulk Hogan than Rain
  • Will probably be confine to wheelchair for life if i attempt to dance like him

Candidate 3: Bae Yong Joon


  • Can save on the Lasik operation
  • Easy job being Master Bae, just give a megawatt smile and waves to the crowd of adoring females
  • Liposuction can costs a bomb
  • Suspectible to facial cramps and numbness from perpetually smiling

Candidate 4: Homer Simpson



  • Can eat doughnuts and drink Duff beer all day long! Woohoo!
  • Just 2 strands of hair, minimal upkeeping of hair required
  • Getting to meet celebrities like Mel Gibson, Bono and even Tony Blair
  • Can save on Liposuction

  • Even a serious case of jaundice can't give me a skin color like Homer

*zhng- Hokkien slang for modifying

(PS: The above are all done tongue in cheek and in no ways meant to insult the artistes featured above. Please do not send me any hate mails or chicken heads.)

Random Quotes of the Day


Jacky Wu, during a recent episode of <<天才向前冲>>

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:18 PM


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