Had been putting this on the back burner for quite some time, but I finally found the time to compile the list of names i go by for the past 24 years. Feel free to point out any missing names as I'm sure there are still many monikers that I have left out.

死肥猪 (Si Fei Zhu/Bloody Fat Pig) : A name that most rolly polly kids get called, and I’m not an exception either.

阿伟 (Ah Wai) : A pet name of mine. Everyone in my family with the exception of my brother calls me that. Having the character 伟 in my name, it is also the only similarity between me and Tony Leung Chiu Wai.

Fatty: As to the reason why my brother seldom addresses me as 阿伟 is because he prefers to associate me with my body shape. It was a nickname given to me when I was in primary 4 and it stuck on to me ever since. I was fat, so I became Fatty. He was tall, so he became Tally. Till today, majority of his friends still know me as Fatty. I still recalled how my brother’s friend got ticked off by my father when he asked to speak to Fatty over the phone. Despite the somewhat negative connotation associated with the nickname Fatty, I actually grown fond of it and even thought of adopting it as a part of my name.

Berak Boy (Shitting Boy): A rather unfortunate incident back in primary school, which involved shit and the inability to reach the loo in time, got me this nickname.

BFG (Big Friendly Giant): Yeah, but they never saw me eating babies and farting balls of fire back then.

Teddy Bear: But I don’t have fur on me. It was probably given to me by some cheapskates who don’t want to spend on their own teddy bears.

Mr. Bear: Given to me by these two lovely classmates, Cindy and Serene, when they saw me sticking my grubby hands into the beehive for honey. WHY DO I GET DUMB NICKNAMES LIKE BEAR?!

蒙古狗 (Mongol Dog) : Ooof will probably remember this better than me. It all happened during an overnight game of RISK™ at the Pasir Ris chalet. Down to my last country Mongolia, I was given a lifeline by the benevolent conqueror Ooof. Instead of repaying his kindness, I switched allegiance to another friend and attacked Ooof. Hence from that night, the name Mongol Dog was conceived.

Bodyguard: Once again due to my imposing figure, I was “appointed” by Weiqi (HI! If you are reading this in Perth) to be her bodyguard.

syxx: IRC was the rage back then and I wanted a real cool nick to hit on the chicks. I got the IRC nickname syxx (pronounced as six) from this wrestler who was the sixth member to join the faction nWo. The wrestler syxx wasn’t really a top notch wrestler, which sadly mirrors my performances in IRC.

pikapig: After the debacle of syxx, I decided to change my irc nick to something more cutesy, something that the gals can giggle at. The nick was a pun on Pokemon™ ‘s lead character Pikachu. Pika-chu, chu sounds like zhu, the Chinese character for pig. Hence the nick, pikapig. Sadly, the change in nick did little my fortunes in IRC.

THAM: The advent of national service, and it was decision time. You either choose to be known by your surname or something else. I choose the former as how difficult could it get for people to look my nametag as mouth the magical T-H-A-M. I was W-R-O-N-G, as I underestimated the intelligent stripping effect of national service.

THIAM: Despite the letters T-H-A-M printed on my nametag, it is baffling how some people can still call me THIAM.

THUM PWEE: (Hokkien for spittoon): It sounds infantile but given how bored army personnel are, some decided to label me a THUM PWEE.

DUM (Hokkien for moist): THAM sounds like DUM and some fellas decided to call me that.

CHEEBYE DUM (Hokkien for Moist Vagina): Given the fact that National Service is also known as the Singapore Institute of Profanities, it didn’t take too long for someone to address me as CHEEBYE DUM.

DUM DUM: Adding another DUM behind supposedly made it more endearing….

WET WET: Which lasted till some idiots decided to translate it to English and call me WET WET.

MR. THUMB / 拇指先生: Gary, this young drink stall assistant in my camp, stretches out his thumb and let out an audible 拇指先生 whenever he sees me. Makes me want to order a glass of Bloody Gary whenever he does that.

THAMBI: THAMBI is the term for “little brother” in the Tamil tongue. After it caught on after some Indian friends called me that, I basically became the little brother of every Tom Dick and Harry around.

大笨熊 (Big Dumb Bear): As I mentioned earlier, never underestimate the intelligent stripping effect of national service. Guess I was behaving like a dimwit buffoon back then, but what’s up with another bear nick?!

BIG SHOW: Finally a nickname that was bestowed to me that wasn’t due to someone taking liberty with my surname. I shall let this Friendster testimonial from Chee Siong, my OETI buddy, explain how I got this nick.

“Thambi !! another of my oeti friend.. and a very interesting one indeed,, haha.. he never failed to make us laugh with his stupid look and laughter.. haha.. still rem u imitating big show when we change to pt attire for running.”

Here’s a picture of Big Show, if you don’t know how he looks like.

Sunshine Bear: Yeah, bye bye army and hello NTU. Guess what was the first nickname that was given to me? It was Sunshine Bear, which is only made known to me recently. Maybe I really look bear-like and the sun was shining on me…but CHEEBYE, ANOTHER BEAR NICK!!!!??

Becos: Ah, the nick given by Mabel. It was during a lecture session in year 1 when Ruishan introduced me to her. After telling her my Chinese name is 颖伟 (Ying Wei), she broke out into a rendition of Nicholas Tse’s “因为爱，所以爱” after which she told me: “I call you Becos from now on, ok?” And hence I was known as Becos.

theyodellingwanker: When I started this blog back in 2004, I wanted a name that people could associate with the kind of crap that I’m going to flood this space with. I didn’t want some regular or cutesy sounding name that many others were using. Using a name that plays around with the initials of my name, Tham Ying Wai, I felt it would signal to readers of the kind of self-depreciating and irreverent humor that I employ. After some brainstorming which threw up names like TheYellowWeasel, I settled on theyodellingwanker, only to realize yodeling is spelt with only 1 L. Three cheers to the Speak Good English movement!

橘子 (Mr. Orange): While I would like to see it as homage paid to the character of the same name in cult film Reservoir Dog, it is actually a nick name given to me because of the color of my attire when my friend first got to know me.

Aunty Tham: Some of my friends decided to call me Aunty Tham in response to my nagging.

贪淫伪 (Gluttonous Lecherous Hypocrite): Not content with parodying my name, I went one step further by playing around with my Chinese name. The end result is 贪淫伪, which amazingly has the same phonics as my Chinese name. Maybe I was born to be a bad guy after all. These three Chinese characters is now part of my MSN nick, and some gullible friends actually think it represents my real Chinese name.

(Not so) Random Picture of the Day

I am THAM, not THIAM!