sing when you're wanking

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Eat, sleep, wake up and eat again

You know, Chinese New Year is all about eating. Eat, sleep, wake up and eat again.

Even during visiting, the highlight will be checking out the festive goodies your host lays out, and sharing nuggets of information with your fellow guests on where to purchase the best pineapple tarts.

Just the other night, I was stuffing myself silly with pineapple tarts and love letters (the edible kind, not those that were sent back to me) moments after my late dinner. Unlike the host body, the digestive system doesn't usually work overtime and I was left with a myriad of undigested food in my globe-like tummy.

As I laid wide-eyed on my bed and accelerating the greenhouse effect through the countless of farts and burps, I was pondering the likelihood of puking in my sleep and subsequently choking to death on my own waste material. Choking on my own puke after a binge eating session is such an unglamorous way to die, but heck, at least it makes a great conversation at the wake.

Mourner: I'm sorry that tyw left.

Relative: Yeah, at least he died while doing something he enjoys, or enjoyed.

Mourner: Oh..that's good.

(After a moment of awkward silence)

Mourner: So did he meet with an accident while bungee jumping or skydiving?

Relative: Nope...

Mourner: Oh, must have crashed his car while driving...

Relative: Neh, he choked on his own vomit.

Mourner: Oh my.... At least he left on a high with that OD..

Relative: Drug overdoes? tyw? No chance. He choked on his vomit while sleeping after stuffing himself silly with pineapple tarts before that.

Mourner: Oh....

(Another moment of awkward silence)

Relative: Try the curry chicken, it's good.

Mourner: Geez, thanks.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:45 PM

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