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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Open Wide.

Last Tuesday, I made a trip to the not so friendly general practitioner (GP) to remedy my flu and cough. I'm proud to say that after a year since my last visit there, my GP has improved on his communication skills. To recap what transpired during the last visit, he asked the following questions during his short 3 minutes consultation:

  1. What's wrong?
  2. When did it happen?
  3. Say aahhhhh....
  4. Breathe in, breathe out
  5. I giving you medication for flu, inflammation and antibiotics
  6. You need a MC right?
That compared to what transpired last week:

  1. What's wrong?
  2. When did it happen?
  3. Say aahhhhh....
  4. Breathe in, breathe out
  5. You don't have gastric pains right?
  6. I giving you medication for flu, inflammation and antibiotics
  7. You need a MC right?
  8. Do you need a MC? (after giving I muttered a barely audible "Nope")

By asking 2 more questions, my GP had lengthened my consultation time from 3 to 3.5 minutes!! He should apply for ISO certification with that sort of job efficiency. Oh did I mention, he likes giving antibiotics for all kind of illness? Anyway this got me thinking, what will transpire if he is a gynaecologist.

Doctor: What's wrong?

Patient: Hi Doctor, I have been missing my periods for the past two months. Is there something wrong with it?

Doctor: When did it happen?

Patient: As I mentioned, I miss my periods for the past two months. So I supposed it started two months ago.

Doctor: Lie down.

Patient: Eh, is there a need for an inspection? Alright....

Doctor: Open Wide.

Patient: Hey, can't you be less terse? (Grumbles)

Doctor: Say ahhhhhh... (As he probes into the problem area)

Patient: *Wtf!?* ah..

Doctor: Breath in, breath out.

Patient: Hey Doc, I'm not going into labour here!

Doctor: You don't have any gastric pains right?

Patient: What do you mean? I missing my periods due to gastric?! But I don't have any gastric leh!

Doctor: I give you some antibiotics. Antibiotics are the cure for all evils.

Patient: *Damn, I would be better off visiting a plumber instead* Oh....kay.

Doctor: You need a MC right?

Patient: (Shakes head in disbelief)

Doctor: Do you need a MC?

Patient: YEAH. I guess I need some rest after this conversation.


Random Song Recommendation of the Day

上帝的帮助 (click here for mp3 version)

词曲:小安


爱你好辛苦
你总是忽冷忽热的态度
跟著你走路
我的前方总是看不清楚
你对我不在乎
让我的心情又一遢糊涂
你飞快的脚步
还是继续践踏著我的幸福
我全心全意的奉献给你
得到的却只是孤独
被你彻底伤害掏空的心
还可以拿什么来弥补
我需要上帝的帮助

This song first appeared on Jiang Meiqi's album <<悄悄话>>, and received heavy airplay as one of the singles. The version here is features a male vocal which is provided by the original composer, Xiao An. Maybe as a male, I can better relate to the emotion forlorness conveyed in the lyrics when it is sung by someone of the same gender. It always easier to relate someone better when the other party is in the same boat.

However I do not agree with seeking divine intervention to solve one's relationship woes. Leave the big fella upstairs to deal with meatier stuffs like resolving global crisies, or issues like this. I always believe that if things are destined to be your, it eventually will. No point bothering the celestial figures to force the issue. Aye, enough babbling. Enjoy the song.

PS: The album in which the song is featured in, has one of the most titilating album cover ever seen for a Chinese album. Not suitable for office viewing!

wacow


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posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:50 PM


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