sing when you're wanking |
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Manchester United 2 Newcastle United 2. Woot! In a game which we are expected to get raped by the Mancurians best pals, Ronaldo and Rooney, we managed to exceed all expectations at battle valiantly for a well-deserved point. What a brilliant start to the New Year. Psst Chelsea, 2 points lost and causing Louis Saha to be injured, how about selling SWP to us on the cheap as a reward?
Anyway, a long long time ago I wrote this piece. Tickled by a question that my colleague posted to a food vendor recently, I've decided to write another piece on banal questions. The question that started it all, asking a food vendor to rate his own cooking, "Eh, this dish nice or not huh?" If I'm the food vendor, I would probably reply.. "This dish is known to cause cholera after consumption. I would recommend that you try this instead. It will just cause food poisoning." Facing incessant questions on the sighting of you and your new beau, "Wah bro, I saw you holding hands with a chio bu at Orchard Road last night leh. Your girlfriend ah?" If I'm the guy, I would probably reply... "Oh that one ah. I got her for $100 from Orchard Towers. Recommend you the pimp, can get good rates if you quote my name." Having customer walk in and enquire whether the shop is open despite the obvious "CLOSED" sign at the door, "You all still open or not ah?" If I'm the shop attendant, I would probably reply... "Yeah, we are open to handle enquiries from stupid customers." Despite the raindrops, your friend still insist on asking the obvious, "I feel something damp falling on me leh, is it raining ah?" If I'm the friend, I would probably reply... "Nah, it's probably some love juices overflowing from an aviary orgy." Your obviously thin looking female friend/girlfriend asking, "Do you think I'm fat?" If I'm the friend/boyfriend, I would probably reply... "Yes." Random Youtube Video of the Day Elva is H-O-T, but Jolin is still bigger. Erm..eh, bigger star in the Mandopop market. |
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