sing when you're wanking
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Unveiling of upgrading plans mean election is around the corner It's becoming a ritual that the government unveils upgrading plans every four years, so much so that it has a signalling effect that the elections are around the corner. Plans are being made to provide a elderly friendly environment in HDB estates , which is a good thing given increasingly greying population in Singapore. It is a mystery why opposition wards like Potong Pasir and Hougang are not included in the upgrading plans. Maybe there aren't many senior citizens staying there....Herm.. Oh by the way, can the government bring back the New Singapore Shares and Economic Restructuring Shares for the generation of voters that weren't eligible the last time round? We promise to be dutiful voters and do the right thing at the upcoming general election. Airing Dirty Linens My "dear" neighbours living above me simply love hanging their laundries at their balcony's window. The stuffs they hanged ranges from wet bed sheets that dangled over my window to freshly washed school shoes where water drips like a faulty faucet. But to hang this.......  (It's a piece of bra, in case you are still wondering what it is) It certainty doesnt bode well for my upcoming mahjong games during the holiday season. Unidentified Black Object To all HDB dwellers, can anyone I.D what's this black object that is found at the lift landing? 
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:20 AM
Saturday, November 26, 2005
what's the difference between a hole in a parachute and one in a condom? (highlight below for answer) the former destroys a life while the latter creates one Random Picture of the Day  Entertaining myself while waiting for food to digest during buffet massacre
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 4:04 PM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
With all the hoohaa surronding Roy Keane's departure from Manchester United, eyes were glued onto the TV screen over the weekend hoping Manchester United falters against Charlton. The naysayers were left disappointed as Manchester United cruised through the match, with Captain Ruud Vanhorsefacenisterooly bagging a brace. However tyw made a stunning discovery, beating the British tabloids in uncovering the identity of Manchester United's new sponsor after the withdrawal of Vodafone. While the new sponsor can only officially has their logo emblazoned on the famous red jersey of Manchester United when the 2006/07 season kicks off, they found an ingenious way to market their company through a certain Mr.Wes Brown.  You might be thinking "Eh, what's the point?". Maybe the picture below might give more clues.  Still can't see the link? One more picture to jolt your analytical skills.  There you go, Mr. Wesly MacBrown, the new marketing sporting icon. Soon The Golden Arches will printed right on the famous red jersey. A marriage between two global brands., all made possible by Mr.Wesly MacBrown. (Picture of Wes Brown courtesy of Gettyimages)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:11 PM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Nov21 around 1330 贪淫伪： how i wish the weather would be like this everyday Nov21 around 1530 贪淫伪：ok i take back my words. if the weather is like this everyday, i'd probably die from rupturing my bladder. Took me two hours to realise that the fats acculmulated over the years is a poor insulator of heat. Random Picture of the Day  Cheer Chen's awesome concert. Shall post a review of it when i feels like it. (Picture Courtesy of a messageboard poster on www.cheerego.com)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:07 AM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
So apparently the uber chio blogger that got featured on TNP over a week ago was, to put it mildly, "man made". Despite the furore over her artificially enhanced looks, she has received two endorsements, two movie offers and two magazine covers to date. (good things certainly do come in pairs eh) This got me wondering, if i zhng myself, can i be a celebrity too? More importantly, who can i zhng myself into to make the talent scouts come knocking on my door? Candidate 1: Jay Chou  Pros:
Candidate 2: Rain  Pros:
Candidate 3: Bae Yong Joon  Pros:
Candidate 4: Homer Simpson  Pro:
*zhng- Hokkien slang for modifying (PS: The above are all done tongue in cheek and in no ways meant to insult the artistes featured above. Please do not send me any hate mails or chicken heads.) Random Quotes of the Day 千万不要倒着念“大牛比较懒”，“愿你记住我”和”我坚强复国”。 Jacky Wu, during a recent episode of <<天才向前冲>>
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:18 PM
Monday, November 14, 2005
Poor Jocie Guo Mei Mei. First she gets pushed as the gal without a nose, singing about mighty mouse’s obsession with rice. Now she appears on TV regularly, telling the whole So what’s next for Miss Guo? Either a) she will sing more songs on pests and animals or b) grow a nose. If it’s the former, I would love it if she sings about the likes houseflies and ants. Imagine having song titles like苍蝇真黑心 (hor sim jin or xim in hokkien) and 黑蚂蚁的大兄 (or gao hia aa dua hia in hokkien), confirm bring in the money sia. And with a discography of pest related songs, Miss Guo can be position as the next Baygon spokesperson or even as the Singapore’s ambassador against dengue mosquitoes and (got forbid) Bird Flu. My idea is so good that i think Playmusic should should hire me to help them market Miss Guo.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:28 PM
Friday, November 11, 2005
James, a name that often crops up on this site, provided not one but two quote worthy conversational bits for this entry. On Banking products "Banking products are just like milk. It just how you package it." On HR personnels "HR personnels are like your lifeguards. Everyday they sit down and do nothing, but they are the most important people in times of distress."
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:55 PM
Monday, November 07, 2005
it's the time of the year whereby 200 poor sods are squeezed inside a bloody hall, coercing their hands to keep up with their minds, or their minds with their hands. No, im talking about the examinations and not some mass wanking session. like any other seasoned exams veteran, tyw has a set of rituals that he adhered strictly to during the examnination period. 1) Wear anything like this,  this,  this,  or this  as long as it's black and white. 2) Listen to
 Random Pictures of the Day   Taking a leaf outta fmq's blog, here's pictures of FOOD! Hairy crabs, bloody tasty roes. Why can't they ovulate more?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:41 PM
Thursday, November 03, 2005
It came to my attention that my entries of late had been rather too "nice". Not risque and titilating enough for a blog with the url theyodellingwanker. I must have disappointed the legions of sex crazed people who stumbled onto my blog, hoping to unearth some quality porn. Especially the guys who were directed to my site after searching for "Peeing while ejaculation" and "Gay Masturbation". Therefore, i have decided to shed my Mr. Nice Guy tag for once and post some provocative pictures of various acts of self gratification. You have been warned.  "打飞机" or Shooting the Airplane  Spanking the monkey  Mast(e)rBa(e)tion Random Quote of the Week "If China produces and consumes so much rice, how come the pugilists in the wuxia flicks always eat mian and mantou?" James, commenting on China's obession or lack thereof with rice
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:44 AM
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