sing when you're wanking
sing when you're wanking <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7528148?origin\x3dhttp://theyodellingwanker.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Monday, July 31, 2006

Uniquely Singapore (Armed Forces)

Overhead this ticking-off session, meted out by this adminstrative supervisor to her NSFs underlings:

"It's not that i want to tekan you all. But i'm a regular personnel, which means it's my duty to supervise that you all are doing the right thing. At the end of the day, i must answer to my conscience when i receive my pay cheque. Now, go back and do your work. Don't let me check you guys slacking again during office hours."

A minute after the tick-off, the supervisor was back reading her regular fix Lianhe Zaobao.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a separate note, as requested by fmq, i have posted pictures of my balls. Not any balls, but pictures of the Convocation Ball(s) 2006. The flickr set can be found here.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random Picture of the Day

PICT0035
When the going gets tough, the tough goes audition for Hungary Ghost Getai.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:25 PM
Friday, July 28, 2006

so do they do anything different?

was chatting with this "chio" friend of mine when she started asking about my preference of porn. of course, being the clueless porn rookie that she is, her conversation with the ero-sommelier went something like this:

"chio" friend: so you prefer asian or ang moh porn?

tyw : eh asian leh, but recently i taken a liking to thai porn

"chio" friend: THAI?

tyw: yeah.

"chio" friend: so do they do anything different?

tyw: yeah, they eat tom yam noodels while doing it.


(Not so) Random picture of the day

lang28aa7kc
"Oh baby, you're making me hot and sweaty!"

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:54 PM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Zidantitis

Zidantitis is rampant and spreading to other sports!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

O'Neill sorry for butting horse

Jockey Paul O'Neill has apologised for the headbutt on a horse which could see him punished by the Horseracing Regulatory Authority.

He will be asked to explain his actions by the HRA next week after the incident at Stratford was caught by TV cameras.

O'Neill said: "I would like to say to the public that I'm very sorry they had to see such a thing. I've never done it before and it will never happen again."

O'Neill lost his cool when City Affair unseated him before a race.

See Paul O'Neill 'headbutt' his horse

Having reviewed a video of the incident at Stratford involving the John O'Shea-trained gelding, the HRA disciplinary panel is set to hold an inquiry on 3 August.

O'Neill told the Racing Post how City Affair had proven difficult to control, even before it unseated him.

He said: "The horse had been very unruly leaving the parade ring.

"When we went to look at the last hurdle before hacking down to the two-mile start, he started reversing when we got to the hurdle and went under a railing which he lifted out of the ground.

"It took me five minutes to leave the railings and get him down to the start which I had to do as gently as I could.

"When I got to the start he headed straight for a car with me, stopped five feet from the car, whipped round and dropped me.

"I landed on my feet, but a bit awkwardly for my knee and I was a little bit angry then, but I've never done anything like this before and I'm glad to say the horse is okay after it and I have spoken to John O'Shea."

Story from BBC SPORT:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/sport2/hi/other_sports/horse_racing/5212482.stm

Published: 2006/07/25 07:29:57 GMT

© BBC MMVI
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Random Quote of the Day

"It feels special.

“Playing here with Chelsea and Blackburn it was an unbelievable place to come as an away player, it’s probably the most passionate place in England to play. That is one of the many factors why I wanted to come here.

“It took a couple of days - I spoke to the gaffer and the lads here like Scott Parker, Steve Carr and Shay Given, but at the end I listened to my heart.

Damien Duff, explaining why he choosed Newcastle despite interest from Spurs and Liverpool.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:01 PM
Monday, July 24, 2006

probably 10 useless trivia about tyw

  1. my new nickname in army is "tumbler"
  2. the size of my arm is probably the same as the thigh of some aneroxic chick
  3. although my convocation starts at 9am, i still get to wake up 2 hrs later than a normal army day
  4. my favourite asian movie is "英雄本色"
  5. i was on the receiving end of numerous wrestling moves excuted by my brother while i was young. probably explain why i look like a retard
  6. i'm watching eason chan's "get a life" concert while typing this entry
  7. in case you need some inspiration for a bad dream, i have curly nipple hair
  8. i'll be attending my third 伍佰 concert in a month time
  9. i'm having chicken pie and curry pok bought from sunshine plaza for breakfast tomorrow
  10. i shall persist watching miss universe, hoping wardrobe malfunction to occur during the bikini segment



Random Picture of the Day

185532831_333cabf07c_o
2 dollars on that beard being a fake

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:31 PM
Thursday, July 20, 2006

misadventure of tyw

193490106_febc28c538_o
Got Milk?

193482723_2f2ef58644
Vulnerable prey spotted

193490215_b7d48d3437_o
I came

193490316_8d9d9c50bc_o
I caressed

193490132_f436678985_o
I conquered

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:48 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006

theyodellingwanker 2006

I was fiddling with the sidebar to link Theresa's blog, when i realised that the archive dated back to July 2004, which meant i 've been yodelling while wanking for 2 bloody years. What a hard on great time blogging for the past 2 years.

Looking back, i would like to thank readers like Ooof, lzw, yyy, Mabel, rs and others who may have been following this blog since its inception. Special mentions should also go out to the master of links, Lancerlord, for giving me my 2 minutes of fame by posting my female anatomy post to the tomorrow.sg.

Last but not least, thank you wc aka "pussy" of fruiit.net and Bing, for being the reason why i took up blogging. Without your witty and interesting blogging style serving as an inspiration, i would still be stuck in front of the pc watching porn (which i still do anyway).

Hopefully, this blog of mine would withstand the test of time and writer's block for the forseeable future.

Random Picture of the Day

185522227_37cf1b1ad8_o
Don't shoot me, i'm just a CMI blogger.


posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:27 PM
Monday, July 10, 2006

Destiny

I believe that in life, everything happens for a reason. It's like accidentaly downloading a porn clip and realize that you actually like porn, or being scalded by hot wax and unleashing the masochistic half that you weren't aware of.

Therefore i believe that Zidane didn't lose his hair for no apparent reason. All that premature hair loss was probably a buildup to the 2006 World Cup final. He was destined to butt his head into Marco Materazzi chest.

Random MSN Conversation of the Day

7/10/2006
8:22:00PM
Cannavaro is the real golden ball winner. FORZA ITALIA!!!

i got 2 female frens keep scolding me for saying zidane dun deserve it

7/10/2006
8:22:00 PM
Cannavaro is the real golden ball winner. FORZA ITALIA!!!

ccb

7/10/2006
8:22:12 PM
Cannavaro is the real golden ball winner. FORZA ITALIA!!!

never trust a zhar bor to make intelligent comments bout football

7/10/2006
8:22:55 PM
贪淫伪: (theyodellingwanker.blogspot.com) WHO WANNA WATCH WUBAI + ZHANG ZHENG YUE CONCERT IN SEPT? NBIM!!!!!

women shd just stick to sucking balls, and not talk bout them

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:37 PM
Sunday, July 09, 2006

NBIM

The weekend carries an added significance especially when we are experiencing the drudgery of working life. Therefore nothing beats the feeling of inching towards Friday, which is probably why the acronym TGIF (Thank God It's Friday) was coined.

However over the weekend, as the sickening feeling of starting work sinks in, one would often utter some choice expletives to describe the animosity and hatred towards Monday. This got me thinking, why can't we have some neat acronym like TGIF to describe our disdain towards Monday. So after a couple minutes of wrecking my brain, the alphabets N-B-I-M surfaced in front of me.

NaBeiIt'sMonday.


Random Picture of the Day

cosfest06 038
Sexually harassed by a Trekkie.


posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:05 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thank you, Zizou

Thank you Zizou, for the masterful display at this World Cup. Thank you Zizou, for showing us that age is not a deterrent. Lastly, thank you Zizou, for making this possible.

71375353
Like what Ooof mentioned, lets boo Ronaldo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Backlash begins for Ronaldo
By Phil McNulty
Chief football writer in Munich

Cristiano Ronaldo left the World Cup in tears after Portugal's semi-final defeat against France - and it is not a wild stab in the dark to suggest sympathy was in very short supply.

Munich's Allianz Arena delivered an early verdict on Manchester United winger Ronaldo and his role as English football's new villain.

Ronaldo's first touch in the opening seconds was greeted with a shattering and genuinely shocking chorus of jeers from all parts of a 66,000 capacity crowd.

England supporters in possession of tickets, having hoped to watch their own team in the semi-final, were presumably the prime movers, but the sound spread like a Mexican wave around the stadium.

This was not just English fans turning on Ronaldo - France fans happily joined in, and many other nations represented could also have played their part.

And it continued, long and loud throughout a first half in which Ronaldo showed great strength of character to emerge as the game's outstanding player.

It was a remarkable event, not just because it appeared to have given England and France rare sporting unity in their contempt for Ronaldo.

The strength of feeling against Ronaldo was tangible, and just a little exaggerated when set against the reason for the crowd's reaction.

Ronaldo's crime was to demand even closer attention from referee Horacio Elizondo to Wayne Rooney's stamp on Ricardo Carvalho's "tomatoes", as one Portuguese newspaper so delicately put it, in their quarter-final meeting.

And his status was confirmed by a conspiratorial wink to team-mates that appeared to suggest he felt it was a case of "job done" as his Old Trafford team-mate took the long walk in Gelsenkirchen.

Ronaldo's subsequent winning penalty hardly helped his popularity, and contributed to the hysteria he has been subjected to since.

He certainly paid for it in Munich, his pain only increased by France's 1-0 win.

And it casts a massive cloud over Ronaldo's Manchester United future.

After all, how can he look Rooney in the eye and stand alongside him in battle for United after helping wreck his colleague's World Cup?

The intervention has actually enabled some observers to overlook Rooney's stupidity in the whole affair.

Ronaldo would have to show huge resolve to turn public opinion back in his favour, even among Manchester United supporters, but his performance in Munich showed those commodities are not in short supply.

He was a major threat to France, particularly in the first half, a lone source of hope in a Portugal side that was too lightweight to threaten a serious knock-out blow to the rejuvenated 1998 champions.

The irony is that Ronaldo is the sort of player Sven-Goran Eriksson would have killed for to add an extra dimension to his squad.

Sadly, the other face of Ronaldo was also in evidence. The amateur dramatics - actually, let's call it diving - that earned him the contempt of thousands inside this space-age home of Bayern Munich.

It is a sorry scar on the game of a lavishly-talented individual, and it is true there may be no way back for him in England as he continues, with perhaps a little too much zeal, to be set up as next season's Premiership hate figure.

Ronaldo will have to grow a thick skin to survive the treatment he is likely to receive, although he appeared to grow with every round of abuse in Munich.

And yet, it may be something he can turn to his advantage, given his recent flirtation with Real Madrid.

If Ronaldo wants to leave Manchester for Madrid, what better excuse than to say life is now impossible in England?

It may well be - and The Bernabeu is not an unattractive alternative.

The sorry chapter in this saga is that Ronaldo showed again against France that there is a potentially stunning talent attempting to escape from the variety of feints, step-overs and dives that are a blot on his landscape.

Ronaldo may have cried in Munich - unfortunately for him and his talent, many others were laughing.

Story from BBC SPORT:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2006/5152784.stm

Published: 2006/07/06 06:38:12 GMT

© BBC MMVI

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:32 PM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Girls who like boys who look like girls but who like girls

Since most of us are accquainted with the pretty boy, Lee Joon-Ki, it's about time to unleash 九孔's (Jiu Kong) spoof on the androgynous Korean actor.


Part 1


Part 2

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:58 PM
Sunday, July 02, 2006

"Another one bites the dust...."

"Dum dum dum dum... Another one bites the dust!" And so another two more nations were ousted from the World Cup, leaving the host Germany, Portugal, Italy and France to battle for the coveted trophy. While the limited amount of sleep due to NS (< 5 hours daily) meant that i'm not watching as much footy action as i would loved to, the weekend presents an opportunity to squeeze in as much action as i can in the valuable company of my friends. While the main course for the night was the England vs Portugal match, Ooof, yc, zs and james popped by my place earlier to busy themselves with a few rounds of Winning Eleven 10, which were once again dominated by Ooof.

When the actual game kicked off, we were bored by the lack of ambitions displayed by both team. We were particularly miffed with Sven Goran Eriksson's decision to play only Rooney, and depriving us of whatever remote chance of seeing Petey Crouchy doing his Robo-Crouch dance again. Throughout the game i was baying for Cristiano "Circus Monkey" Ronaldo's blood, wishing that someone will give him a good kick up his ass and also make him cry like a baby, just like what he did at Euro 2004. Instead Beckham decided to jump the queue and weeped openly after leaving the game due to an injury.

After England was reduced to 10 men, the Anglo-Saxon team was unlikely to win the game via regulation time. So after 120 minutes of full blooded yet insipid football, we were treated to a penalty shootout. Cue the last kick of the game and up steps Missy Cristiano Ronaldo. If Paul Robinson is going to make only one save for the rest of the World Cup, this is it. By now, we knew he failed and Ronaldo scored. With that successful conversion, the opportunity of seeing Ronaldo cry vanished too. Instead we were treated to scenes akin to a mass funeral procession, with the England players weeping openly.

Things got so morose that Ooof and I decided to engage in a simple game called: "Where's Walco?". The rules are simple, it's just like "Where's Waldo?" but we are searching for the elusive Theo Walcott instead. We cheered like men possessed everytime we spotted Walco on screen, though such sightings were few and far between. To those who didn't manage to catch Walcott in action, here's a picture of him getting on the wrong side of law in Germany.

arrested10wn
Mr. Walcott, we are placing you under arrest for hogging the bench.

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 6:04 PM
Saturday, July 01, 2006

Random corny trivia of the Day

What is the best way to cripple Singapore's defence?


Bomb Pasir Ris interchange and Army Market on Friday evening and over the weekend respectively. (Highlight for answer)

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:08 PM
verbal ejaculation
  • Bad id: "theyodellingwanker"
    (There is no flooble chatterbox with this id. It may have been deleted, or never existed. You can sign up for a new account if you wish.)









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