sing when you're wanking
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007
*clears throat* Tee Why Dubba Yew has a shoe, E-I-E-I-O
And on his shoe he has some molds, E-I-E-I-O And a mold grows here, and a mold grows there, Here mold, there mold, everywhere has mold, Tee Why Dubba Yew has a moldy shoe, Pua-Chee-Bye...O! Tee Why Dubba Yew has another shoe, E-I-E-I-O And on that shoe there is no sole, E-I-E-I-O And he slips slips here, and he slips slips there, Here slips, there slips, everywhere slips slips, Tee Why Dubba Yew has a pair of FUCKING FRICTIONLESS shoe, Kan Ni Na Beh Chao Chee Bye...O! Fuck. Random Picture of the Day  Simply because, I couldn't find an "Available" sign.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:44 PM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Last week's edition of Urban has deemed that the long derided pair of spectacles are back in vogue again. Being a critic of contact lenses, which I hold responsible for the dwindling number of bespectacled babes, this is a cause for celebration. Hopefully, I'll get to see more of this. Drool...
For those who are unfortunate enough to be on my msn contact list, you will notice that my nick is "One Good Nostril". As the nick suggest, I was floored by the flu (yet again) last week and had to take a day MC on Friday to recover. My flu, like the menstrual cycle, comes once a month. The only difference is, the former discharges vile viscous liquid from the nostrils, while the latter discharges from you know where. Since I was sick, naturally I had to visit a doctor to cure myself. Not any doctor, but the same old bloody one that I poured so much scorn on in this post. This time round, he even managed to outdo himself by not even asking what was wrong with me. Instead, he just looked at me with an impatient look. Or maybe he was just trying to read my mind. It's mystifying why I keep going back to him. It's just like how some girls still fall in love with jerks, despite previous bad experiences, or how some fans (like myself) follow a football club in spite of the emotional distress they are being subjected to. It seems like posting pictures about empty chairs is the IN thing these days. A day after this entry, Mabel informed me that her friend too posted a picture of an empty chair (which, by the way, was way nicer than the one I took) not too long ago. Given the interest in empty chairs, I might consider starting an association for the like-minded people. Empty Chairs Association, or ECA in short. Names. Not contented with being known as the Toms, Dicks and Harries of this world, people are coming up with increasingly zanier names. Just the other day, my colleague spoke to a Garfield from Hong Kong over the phone. Yes, the same G-A-R-F-I-E-L-D that appears in your daily comic strip, the same G-A-R-F-I-E-L-D that Mabel adores. My colleague and I who overheard the tele-conversation just burst out laughing. The laughter was soon replaced by incredulity when our manager informed us that she once spoke to a or an ABCDE from Hong Kong. It's pronounced as Ab-Cer-Dee. Suddenly, Becos sounds so uninteresting. Talking about names, an internal customer, who has an issue pronouncing dialect names, kept calling me Yang Wu instead of Ying Wei. Wtf!? Yang Wu? Well, at least he didn't call me Ying Wu (parrot) or Yang Wei (Erectile dysfunctional). Still on names, if merger talks between ABN Amro and Barclays go smoothly, what shall the new entity be known as? ABN Barclays Bank? Baclays Amro Bank? Or simply, A Barclays Bank? Random Picture of the Day  Tyson, the Bi Kor Kuey!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:37 PM
Ethnic Chic Costume Design Competition. What's that, no fricking clue.
With no bloody idea over what was happening, I went down to support 031 and yyy, who were modeling some costumes that the former designed with her friend.  Bumped into rs and her beau, Tong How. And her two balloons.  Onto the event itself, apparently it's some kind of new age interpretation of ethnic costumes, with models showing the wares on a runway. So Chichi.  Aye this model, who was sporting a headpiece reminiscent of those worn by African tribeswomen, was sporting enough to strike a pose when she chanced upon me stealing a shot of her. More on her later.  The only guy among the models. Respect. Notice the guy in shades sitting among the audience? Don't you think he looks like one of the Soler's member? Just don't ask me which one does he resembles.  The quartet of 14 years old, who were behind this particular design. Isn't it enviable to be young, and pursuing something that you are passionate about?  I think it was 031 who commented that she looks like a character from wuxia flick.  Wuxia character or not, personally I felt she was overshadowed by her team mate shown above, who oozed so much class and elegance. Ah....my heart still skips a beat whenever I think of her.  Look at how sexy her dress is. Adds a whole new twist to the traditional kebaya.  With so much eye candies on display, I was almost in danger of losing track of my purpose of visiting this event., which was to  Miss 031, representing either Spring or Autumn (I was inebriated by the showcase of hot babes by then), modeling her interpretation of an Indian sari.  Miss Summer showcasing a modern Chinese ethnic dress.  Miss either Spring or Autumn (eSoA), in a modern kebaya dress. Miss eSoA appeared vaguely familiar to me (as do all pretty gals) and throughout the event I was trying to recall where did I graced her presence before. It was only when she removed her wig during an intermission that I realized she was my personal favorite Cosplayer! Before I could ask her for another photo opportunity, she was whisked off to the stage. Sigh.  yyy's turn to grace the runway. Perhaps she was too absorbed in her interpretation of Winter that she cuts a cold and distant figure. Smile, cio, 笑 more lah! Team Four Seasons finished as the 2nd runner up in the team category and was rewarded with (I believed) a $1,500 worth of prizes. Congratulation gals! Remember the gal with the humongous headpiece? With her eye catching outfit and exuberant personality, she naturally became a highly sought-after photo shoot target among the event goers. While enduring a incessantly long wait for my turn to have a shot taken with her, I was trying to conjure up with something intelligent to say to her during the imminent photo shoot. When I finally stood besides her, I summoned the courage and asked............. "How do you manage to keep your headpiece intact after all this while?" Which she replied: "I don't know, I'm not the designer." *Ka-cha*  Damn! I should had asked for her number instead! 小姐,小姐,你什么号码啊? Ethnic Chic Costume Design Competition. Still no fricking clue on what's that. I just know it's an event where pretty gals are plentiful. (Credit: The better taken photos were courtesy of yc aka Mr.X.) PS: If I sounded like a hum sup loh in this post, blame my hormones.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:16 AM
 依然不习惯没有你的空间... 背着你读书 背着你写字 你再不会责备 我不够用功 背着你伤痛 伤痛关于我的快乐 唔…… 背着你沉默 背着你穿洞 你再不会让我 看潮起潮落 我的爱竟不翼而飞 但回忆 供我在夜里消费 无所谓 当泪都成灰 背着你得到一些时间 当泪都化成一片灰 哎…… 背着你我按停了时间 (Not so) Random Video of the Day No, I'm not slicing my wrist over some relationship issues. Just intrigued by how an empty seat could mean so much to certain people. The fact that I have yet to recover from the hangover of an overdose of Haruki Murakami doesn't help to lessen the melancholy either. Well, I should go slice my wrist over the lack of relationship issues.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:47 AM
Thursday, March 15, 2007
 YAY! Work Life Balance! Thank god it didn't happen last Wednesday, or I would had perform hari kiri by slicing papers across my stomach.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:49 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
With the trend of having low sugar versions of canned beverages showing no signs of abating, the day when you are able to order, "Coke ji puey, sui dai." is not as distant as it seems. Oh wait...there's Coke Lite.
(If you are confused by the terminology used, kindly refer to this.) I would advise caution if you are intending to order Coke Lite using the phrase mentioned above. Given how unpredictable some of the people in the F&B line are, you never know when they might erupt just like how this kitchen staff at The Soup Spoon killed his superior (bless his soul) over some work related dispute. Still on that incident, my brother and I did a double take when we first heard the news over the radio. We were initially amazed by how the alleged murderer managed to perpetrate the crime using...a spoon, until we realized that the restaurant does indeed has other cutlery. Another killing that grabbed the headlines over the past week was the gang killing at One Fullerton, which is just a stone throw away from where I work. It's no wonder that the office feels a tad eerie at night. Damn, I should use this as a reason to stop working OT. The Picturehouse is fast becoming a favourite haunt of mine. Weeks after catching the brilliant Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson, I made another trip back there to immerse myself in The Lives of Others, which garnered an Oscar for Best Foreign Film. So is The Lives of Others any good? The fact that I, someone not particularly emotional, almost teared at the last scene of the movie is probably the best praise I can lavish at the show. Then again, I also almost teared after watching The Mount of Zu (蜀山传) because it was the worst fucking craptecular movie I watched in my life. Sorry for digressing. The ending of The Lives of Others must be one of the most poignant moment in celluloid history, and I believe that scene alone is worth the entry fee. Random Picture of the Day  Picturehouse, I heart. (Can't bloody believe I actually typed "I heart". Oh, the travesty!)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:23 AM
Thursday, March 08, 2007
And I received this in my company's email this morning.... Guy A: I almost got robbed the other day.
Guy B: Oh, what happened? Guy A: A masked chap pointed a gun at me and asked: "Your life or your money!?" Guy B: Oh my...then how did you react? Guy A: I calmly showed him my staff pass and he left after seeing it. Guy B: Why? You're a policeman? Guy A: Neh, I'm working at **** Bank. Guy B: Mmm..? Guy A: It's a well known fact that **** Bank's staff have no life or money. Luckily I managed to chuckle at it. Shows that while I have no money or life, I still have something call a sense of humour.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:55 PM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
 Oh my God.... I managed to buy Cheer's latest single, Pussy. And I spent another 30 bucks pre-ordering her concert DVD. Oh and another 25 bucks on Soda Green's 2nd album. And Er... I also paid another 30 bucks signing up for a membership with the CD shop.
Wait, sounds like I've become a victim of a pyramid scheme eh? Haha Random Advice of the Day Remember to remove the candles before shoving the face into the cake.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:54 PM
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Yes, I'm working tomorrow. Hope that answers questions whether am I one of the lucky duo.
Next time, I will write in Chinese instead. Random Youtube video of the Day 进退两难, or LPPL in colloquial terms.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:19 PM
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Good things come in threes.
Since I did it last year and the year before, naturally I have to do it again this year to complete the hat trick. Happy Birthday Mabelline Low! While it may had been somewhat of a topsy turvy year for you, all of us were glad that it ended on a high with the appearance of Fabby boy. Just bear with the 35 more days eh? Haha. 3rd Day of the 3rd Month, and it's your 23rd Birthday. Good things come in threes. (Not so) Random Picture of the Day  Happy Birthday!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:08 AM
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Dear God of Fortune,
It's the dream of everyone, maybe with the exception of lottery syndicate owners, to strike lottery. Since I do not own any lottery syndicates, winning the lottery remains an unfulfilled dream of mine. However Mr. God of Fortune, you have the power to fulfill my dream tomorrow. Yes, YOU, the omnipotent wielder of prosperity, the most marketable personality during the Lunar New Year, can make a difference in the life of an ordinary person. Given that the Toms, Dicks and Harrys, and Janes too, (FYI, gender equality is a major issue right now) of this world are constantly harbouring hope of a big windfall, it is difficult for you to decide on who should benefit from your blessing. Then why should you choose me, instead of other less deserving beings? For a start, I am a faithful advocate of your teachings. I eat pineapples till my tongue turns numb just because it rhymes with prosperity. My entire collection of undergarments are shades in red, just because you said it's a lucky color. I rather take a 15 minutes detour, than to risk incurring your wrath by walking under lingeries. I have been force feeding myself to achieve a rolly polly figure, which according to your teaching, is synonymous with wealth. If sincerity ranks high on your list of criteria, then I am your obvious candidate. Who else in this world is sincere enough to pen a letter to you? The rest are only capable of dreaming, while me, Mr. Sincerity, is writing a letter to you. I promise to be good if you let me strike Toto tomorrow. For a start, I will donate 10% of my earnings to charitable organizations. That is, when I finally find some deserving one. The last few good charitable organizations that I know of underwent some major organizational shake up. It's hard to find charitable bodies that reward its hardworking CEO with first class air tickets anymore. Sigh, look at the state of the world now. Sorry for digressing. Besides the charitable deeds, I also promise to make regular offerings to you. I will source for the best firewoods available and also the best reindeers in this world. All you need to do, is just say yes. If not now, then when? If not you, then who? God of Fortune, please act now. Yours sincerely, tyw
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:07 PM
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