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Saturday, May 31, 2008
Bank Teller: Welcome to Development Oversea Chinese Union Bank of Singapore. How can I help you?
The man handed a over a crumpled piece of paper over to the teller and motioned her to read the contents. THIS IS A BANK ROBBERY. I HAVE WEAPONS Bank Teller: Er Sir.. May I know what weapons do you have there? The man, getting fidgety and agitated, reached into his pants and fished out a revolver from his (ew) underpants and placed it onto the bank counter. Man: Don't try to be funny here. This is a real gun, not some masak masak you see at the Pasar Malam. Now give me the money! Bank Teller: Sir, I'm not doubting the authenticity of your gun. But.. Man: But what!? Bank Teller: Sir, with the rising inflation in the country, you are now required to have at least two guns before you can rob a bank. The man was speechless and left the bank after retrieving his revolver. He was arrested hours later while tucking into a $3.50 plate of chicken rice (which used to cost $2.50 a year ago) at a coffee shop. Random Picture of the Day  Sorry Sly, now you need more than that to rob a bank.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:49 AM
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I don't know whether my heart can take any more surprises today. To the hot chicks out there, please profess your love for me another day.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:07 AM
What an unexpected piece of good news on a lazy Saturday morning. Nope, I'm not talking about Singapore being awarded the sovereignty to Pedra Branca (any sexy chicks residing there?) or Burma finally allowing all foreign aid workers access into the country (3 weeks too late).
Eason Chan is bringing his Moving on Stage concert to Singapore on the 26th of July!!! OMG!!!!! Ticket sales commence on this coming Tuesday, 27th of May. E-神!我要去看你的演唱会!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:43 AM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Just two hours into my three days leave, it dawned on me what makes working
Even though it may sounds exaggerating, I think one can fry a whole chicken, let alone cook an egg in that freaking kind of hot weather. Somewhere out there, Colonel Sanders must be sweating in his pants. If you think the heat over the past couple of days were unbearable, you are in for a sizzling treat. According to the guys at meteor station, temperatures are going to hit a high of 34 degrees celcius over the next three days. That's not all, and if my dodgy memory serves me well, I vaguely recalled reading an article in our local press that the temperatures are set to hit a high of 38 degrees celcius come June. I am SO not looking forward to June, unless of course the government mandates that the young OLs don bikinis as a measure to combat the sweltering summer heat. Till then, remind me to cancel my leave plans for the month of June. Random video of the Day It's getting hot in here, c'mon and take off all your clothes!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:07 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Random Suay Event of the Day I got headshot today. That is, a bird pooped on my head. Random Thought of the Day Which is worse? Blood in your stool or stool in your blood? Hmm..
Random Picture of the Day  The most beautiful rainbows often emerges after dark clouds. To those affected by the recent natural catastrophes and a dear friend of mine, don't lose hope. Random song of the Day 四人游 - by the "四眼仔" spokesperson 方大同 and 薛凯棋
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:25 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
"山可以动摇，但动摇不了我们赈灾的决心" - 中国总理温家宝 Please donate generously.
http://www.redcross.org.sg/chinaearthquake_src_donate.htm
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:25 PM
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
"Did you leopard crawl to work today?"
This is the question that most colleagues are dying to ask me but are probably too polite to do so. No I did not go bonkers and show up for work with camo face paint and army fatigues. It's just that out of five work days, I am sporting a crumpled work shirt for four of them. Crumpled enough to make the most seasoned piece of kiam chye looks like a baby's smooth bottom Well, the half glass full practitioners would be galvanized by the fact that at least there is a finely pressed shirt for a day. Sorry Optimistic folks, Friday is a dress-down work day. Being adept at ironing certainly isn't hard coded in my family genetic structure. My mum can't really iron well and I can't iron to save Iron Man's life......Which is why I decided to seek help from where else but youtube. Our generation (X, Y or is it Z now?) really have it easy. Just google, youtube or wiki your problems and viola, the solutions are delivered right to your monitor. People of yore would have to travel million of miles to the west, with a monkey, pig and sand monk as chaperons, just to get a modern day equivalent of the Dummies' guide. The video I have found is great except for a small wee problem. The demonstrator is animated and offers chock full of explanations, but everything is in Japanese! Any kind soul is kind enough to translate or subtitle the video for me? I will be eternally grateful and reward you with a lifetime supply of kiam chyes for your effort. Alternatively, any beautiful ladies out there are willing to iron my clothes for me? I will provide you with a ring, a roof over your head and if you want, get you a cute looking pug too.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:16 PM
Sunday, May 11, 2008
 Taken from Singapore Redcross Website. Do your bit to help. There's a fear that the money might end up in the hands of the incompetent and corrupt junta government, but if we do not help them, who will?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 3:53 PM
Saturday, May 10, 2008
 Yay! I got myself a copy of the highly anticipated game of the year, Grand Theft Auto (GTA) IV!! Can't wait to start indulging in some virtual carjacking, merrying making and rampaging in the Liberty City. But..... I don't even own a PS3 console.
Instead of being the envy of my peers, I have now managed to cement my position as the laughing stock among them. At least, it makes a good conversation topic. tyw: Hey, I bought a PS3 copy of GTAIV!!!! friend: Woah! Envious leh. How's the gameplay? tyw: Eh don't know leh. I don't a PS3. friend: !!!?! Then why buy the PS3 version, instead of the XBox360 one? You own a XBox360 leh! tyw: Er.. Random Video of the Day 大哥是对的！
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:00 AM
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