sing when you're wanking
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Monday, June 30, 2008
Yay to nights of uninterrupted sleep! The final whistle for the almost month long European Championship sounded early this morning with Spain schooling Germany in a game which the former won 1-0, a scoreline that did not accurately reflect the domination enjoyed by the Spanish side. The final whistle could not come soon enough for myself too as I was caught in a punting freefall ever since I correctly wagered that Russia would beat Holland in the quarter finals. My bets for this morning's final? Germany to win and there would be three or more goals in the match. After sorting my betting slips this morning, I can unequivocally conclude that my worst punt for the tournament goes to...  Maybe I ought to introduce Toni to Tony Soprano. Doh, I forgot that he got gunned down. (Or did he?)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:06 PM
Saturday, June 28, 2008
 征昏启事 有为青年 (时常被人吓到脸青青） 诚恳老实 (年龄也蛮老） 成熟稳重 (论体重而言，俺无与伦比） 不会zhao-sai （因为 风趣幽默 （自嘲也是种学问） 储蓄丰富 (我怎么都没有，我只有钱) 若有兴趣，请拨打1900-0001000。 Random Video of the Day 盧廣仲 好想要揮霍
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:23 PM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Inflation is when... the sack of rice appreciates more than your limited edition LV bag.
Inflation is when... my favourite cup of Horlick Peng at Mr.Teh Tarik now costs $1.80 instead of $1.50. Inflation is when... my happy meal (that is drumstick and roast pork rice) at Philip Street went from $5 to $5.50, and ultimately to $6 within less than 3 months. Inflation is when... all the prices go up with the exception of the stock prices. Inflation is when...despite all the above, your pay still remain stagnant. Oh, the wonder of inertia. Random physics theory of the day "An object at rest tends to stay at rest (your pay) and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction (every other thing except stock prices) unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:38 PM
Monday, June 23, 2008
Did I mention that I'm now the owner of a very dusty PS3 set?   !
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:56 PM
Sunday, June 22, 2008
 I was mocked, ridiculed and almost came close to being mentioned in the same sentence as Chee Soon Juan, when I told others I wagered on Russia to lift the European Cup before the start of the tournament.
After last night's victory, I think comparison with Albert Eienstein would be more appropriate. Don't people realize that Gus Hiddink is the closest thing to Midas in the world of football? As my ys puts it aptly, Singapore should hire Gus Hiddink if it wants to improve the football standard in Singapore. Heck, the GIC should stop wasting money on distressed banks and invest in Gus Hiddink instead. Okay be forewarned everyone, come June 30th if Russia does really wins the championship, I will not respond if you address me simply by my name. Call me Prophet Tham.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:44 PM
Monday, June 16, 2008
Ages ago, when Mas Selamat was still an inmate of the Whitley Road Detention Centre, I toyed with the idea of starting a food blog. In the lead up to that, I fiddled with a few test food blog posts which you can find on the sidebar under the header Fatty's Ho Gai Xiao. Then I saw the ieat food blog. Deep down inside, I know there isn't any way my food blog can be better than his. It's like walking out of the plastic surgeon having artificially amped up your boobs from an A to C, only to see a natural D cupper walking past you. Since then I seldom blogged about food except the occasional post like the maiden trip to Aston and sampling the humongous ieatsuperburger. Help! The giant pincer is having a go at my throat!!But I must really blog about this. Over the weekend, a group of ex-Worse Local Bank employees and myself went to this place called House of Crabs in the Ang Mo Kio area for a meal of (drum rolls...) crabs. I admit that I often find it difficult to understand Singaporeans' soft spots for the expensive crustacean . However the meal at House of Crabs turn me into a believer! Hallelujah!  The average Chilli Crab, with a pincer that Mike Tyson would be proud of.  The pincer, which is almost half of my big round face.  The star of the show, the black pepper crabs, resting on a miserable piece of lettuce. The black pepper sauce was so delicious that one of us ordered a bowl of white rice just to go with it.  Look at the size of this pincer!  Damn, looking at those pictures is making me hungry again.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:21 AM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
 From left: 1) 萧敬腾's autographed piano score which is a pre-order gift for his debut item, 2) 萧闳仁's CD with an autographed copy of his single, 3) Dodgeball, a nostalgic game that reminds me of the good old 8-bit NES days, 4) 林宥嘉's debut CD with an autographed card and lastly 5) METAL GEAR SOLID 4!!!  Solid Snake, in his last mission before heading for the old folks home. And nope, nothing has changed since this post, I still do not own a PS3 yet. For those keeping score, it is PS3 games 2, PS3 set 0.   I'm such a groupie. (Not so) Random video of the Day Don't call yourself a gamer if you do not know how to appreciate this.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:43 PM
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
 Chee Soon Juan spectacles 牙擦苏 set of teeth But what an astute sense for music that he possess. His name is 盧廣仲 and he is my 好介绍 for the day. 一百种生活
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:40 PM
Saturday, June 07, 2008
明天我要上京考状元了。
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:28 PM
Friday, June 06, 2008
As promised, my followup to this post.
Yodeling is spelt with a single L. www.theyodelli... DOH! When the lady whom you are trying to woo suddenly becomes uncontactable, she hasn't been kidnapped. It simply means GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. Contrary to popular belief, eating bananas do not aid bowel movement. The name, Yingying, is the most common name to appear in Chinese / Cantonese drama serials. Installing a ceiling fan directly under a light source is a surefire way to get epilepsy fits. Porn is the most powerful genre of cinematic form which transcends gender, cultural, language and all kind of barriers in the world. Well almost all with the exception of the customs. Getting someone to accept a new genre of music is almost as difficult as getting them to renounce their religious faith. It takes few years of your formative years to ruin a set of pearly whites. It takes a few years, tooth extractions, metal braces and thousands of dollars to correct it. Go do the sums. By the year 2015, there will probably be no born and bred Singaporeans playing in the Singapore football team. There is a jaywalker deep inside everyone of us. Having a pencil lead embedded in your thigh does not cause harm to the body. Neither does it grant you any supernatural powers ala Spiderman. How many of the hawker / coffee shop stall assistants who implores you to get out of his or her way by shouting "Sio Ah! ( which roughly means I'm carrying something hot, get out of my way)", is actually holding to something that is remotely hot? The answer is not many. Michael Jackson did not star in the Planet of the Apes. Never ask if a lady is having her period. First it's rude and by asking the obvious, it is akin to pasting a "Kick Me" sign on your bottom and invite the opposite party unleash her wrath on you. 8 out of 10 ladies are afraid of cockroaches. The other two rear or snack on them. Cam-whoring is an innate ability which can't be taught.  (Not so)Random Video of the Day It's never too late to realize something.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:53 PM
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Patient: Arh...Doctor, think I got fever. Head very hot. Doctor: Let me take your temperature. *Ti* Patient: So how, got fever or not? Doctor: Your temperature is 38.2 °C Patient: Really got fever. Can give me two days mc or not? Doctor: Sorry, your temperature is normal. I can't give you any MC. Patient: Doctor, don't play play lah. Doctor: In the past, your temperature would be classified as fever. However due to global warming effects in recent years, the average temperature has risen by more than 1°C. So 38.2°C is considered normal body temperature now.
Patient: (- - ) ... Today is World Environment Day. Boys and girls, save our planet! (Not so) Random Video of the Day Captain Planet! Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! GO PLANET! With your powers combined I am Captain Planet! Captain Planet, he's our hero, Gonna take pollution down to zero, He's our powers magnified, And he's fighting on the planet side Captain Planet, he's our hero, Gonna take pollution down to zero, Gonna help him put us under, Bad guys who like to loot and plunder "You'll pay for this Captain Planet!" (chanting) We're the planeteers, You can be one too! 'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do, Looting and polluting is not the way, Hear what Captain Planet has to say: "THE POWER IS YOURS!!"
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:10 PM
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I had an epiphany a few nights ago.
While watching the French Open on Monday night, I had an eureka moment and finally found directions to the career impasse that I have been facing of late. There it was, on the goggle box, my dream job! Don't be mistaken, I do not harbor any dreams of being a tennis superstar like Roger Federer or the Catalan beast, Nadal.  Ta-dah! My dream job, a tennis line judge. Imagine the unobstructed view of Maria Sharapova's superb
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:05 PM
Monday, June 02, 2008
Got this on my company mail a while back. Never fail to raise a chuckle whenever I read it.
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by: Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' 3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 7. Never lick a steak knife. 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 14. Your friends love you anyway. 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. And for the FINALE - AND BEST THOUGHT FOR THE DAY There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them... ... For the record, I treat Since I'm on another week long leave, look out for my own list of observations sometime this week. Random Picture of the Day  小姐，有卖牛奶吗?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:38 PM
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