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Sunday, May 29, 2005
don't worry i'm not going to touch on the length or width of the male anatomy, which would be better suited for a place like sammyboy. instead i will spend time explaining the meanings some hokkien slangs involving the male anatomy. being a cantonese, i can't guarantee the accuracy of the explaination but the 2.5 years spent in the Singapore School of Expletives(aka SAF) certainly helps in my grasp of the slangs. Hum Ji - Shrinking testicles.Use to depict a situation where the person exhibits cowardice in performing an act Wah lan eh, why you so hum ji? Like her don't dare to ask her out! Lam Pa Pak Lan(LPPL) - Testicles colliding with the penis.Being caught in a sticky situation What to do, my boss wants me to work OT on my girlfriend's birthday. Lam Pa Pak Lan sia. Lan Lan (LL) - Resigned to fate Big boss wants me to do it, how can i disobey his orders. Lan Lan lor! Zuo Bo Lan (ZBL) - Idling away You were zuo bo laning the whole day, still dare to complain about your work! Nabei Du lan - Angry towards something or someone I fucking dulan that asshole lo, how dare he touch my girlfriend! Gwa Lan - Looking for trouble Don't act so gwa lan leh, later others hantam you then you know ah! Lao Lan - Arrogant Jay Chou sibei lao lan lor, act like he owns the world lidat. Xia Lan - Similar to gwa lan, but to a greater severity That xia lan kia, one day must beat him up to teach him a lesson sia. Kum Lan - Pointless, waste of time NTU sibei kum lan lor, want me to travel all the way back to NTU for a one hour pointless talk. Kio tio Gu Bey Lan - Extremely lucky, literally means picking up a bull and horse penis Wah, you manage to find $100 on the street sia, really kio tio gu bey lan! ForLan - finally come good, after being condemned for a long time Johnny hor, last time he always buang his exams one leh. But recently he did a For lan and aced most of his recent exams leh. Sibei Kiang! Pau Lam Pa - supporting the testicles, a crass hokkien term for bootlicking Knn, Ah Pui sibei wayang leh. Tup pai bo zhor kang, but never tio sack cos he everyday pau the manager's lam pa. CCB! That's all folks, the above terms are all i could remember for now. Of course these are my interpretations, for a more definitive take on the above terms and anything Singlish, pay a visit to the brilliant Talking Cock's Coxford Singlish Dictionary.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:00 PM
Friday, May 27, 2005
In 6 minutes, you probably can....
In 6 minutes, Liverpool FC performed a miracle and overturn a 3 goals half time deficit against a Milan side famed for their stingy defence. Approximately a season ago, both Liverpool and Newcastle performed below standards, the former struggling to qualify for Champions League football, while the latter missed out on qualification by a league position. The underperformance led to the sacking of Gerrad Houllier and Sir Bobby Robson. New regiment were brought in to perform sweeping changes to the team. Rafa Benitez, the spanish tactician at Valencia was installed at Liverpool while the former Liverpool hardman Graeme Souness was brought in to replace Sir Bobby. Exactly a season later, Liverpool failed to qualify for Champions League but emerges as the Champions League champion. Newcastle did not even figure in the top half of the EPL and falter badly in the quarter finals of the UEFA Cup. Perhaps it will also takes 6 minutes to sack Graeme Souness.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:07 PM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
传说中的绝技再度重现江湖！ 自《食神》星爷用这招来煮菜后就消失声影，这武林绝世神功竟然在新加坡出现！ 
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:18 PM
Cow, a buddy of mine for 10 years is feeling the effect of the weather recently. Hope the below pictures will cheer him up and aid him in his recuperation.      
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:39 AM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
 The North End  The South End  CDs  CDs.....  And more CDs  Toys  More toys  And more fucking toys  Big enough for me and my brother  Chilling out with a game of WE8LE (PS: Of course, the seedy side is not disclosed here. )
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:25 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
 If not, explain why the anti racist band is so tight on my wrist? (PS: Added a section on the sidebar, continuing the observations i started two posts ago. Hopefully by the end of my internship, it can fill up the whole bloody page)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:11 PM
after days of counting down, the day finally arrives. Today shall see the premiere of THE MOVIE EVENT OF THE YEAR, the show everyone is dying to catch. Rejoice, cause we need wait no further. Inside Deep Throat has finally arrived!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:06 AM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
1) Filing isn't easy. I spent close to 10 minutes figuring how to close a special looking file today 2) Never let your boss knows your name. My one did, and he kept calling me to run errands for him. Nb.. 3) Never work with your spouse in the same company. Witnessed a domestic squabble over whether to enrol the child in a playhouse. 4) Was awed by the power of the TISSUE whenever i stepped into the battlezone called Hawker Centres. 1 small non-descript pack of tissue has the ability to "chope" the entire table at the Hawker Centre. Sibei power. 5) If you thought item 3) was bad, things got worse when the boss address you the "What's your name?" 6) It's fun when your company is hiring new staffs. You never know what kind of people might turn up for the interview. For the record, only ONE decent looking chick turned up today 7) The morning rush hour brings out the ugly side of some Singaporeans. This morning i gave up my seat on the train for this pregnant lady, and from my blind side another shameless piece of shit swoop in and occupied the seat. Fucking hell. 8) Working OT till 7pm on a Friday night while you are on MC is the worst way to usher the upcoming long weekend. 9) You know it's friday when the bosses bring the kiddos to office 10)Only on weekend, you gets to hit the bed at the time when you normally wakes up for work.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:54 PM
aye apologies for not updating, especially the countdown to Episode 3, regularly. been occupied with mahjong, dvds, final day of the EPL and get this, PSP over the weekend. however i'm too half arsed to blog about this tonight as i had just reached home after a night at the cosy Settler's Cafe.(which i will blogged about another night) this leaves me with little to yak about excpet plugging my friend's blog. if you are craving for some travel blog, look no further than fruiit.net. Written by my good buddy codenamed pussy back in the army days, it chronicles the life of a rather vagrant looking intern finding his way around japan. expect NO Lost in Translation moment from him though.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:45 AM
Friday, May 13, 2005
 Mace Windu vs Giant M&M!  Lucas Art's grand scheme to make all Star Wars Fans diabetic
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:50 PM
ok another nonsensical title, it's hard to think up of a suitable title everytime. so almost every NTU bloggers doing their Professional Attachment had yakked about their first week of internship, guess the time is nigh for me to do the same too. unlike the majority of them, i'm not going to bore you about the drudgery of my work. instead i'm going to impress on you the importance of having an English name or at least one that is easy to pronounce. guess it is how the brain functions, people tend to remember English names like John, Jim, Paul better than dialect name like Yingwai. If not, you might end up being address by an assortment of monikers. barely a week of attachment had passed and i had already been called 3 different names by my colleagues. on the fourth day, one of my colleague started calling me 猛男 after she wanted me to help her lift some boxes. Sadly, the name stuck with me since that incident. on the next day, which is today, my colleague gave me the name Robert as she theorize all names ending with -"Bert" are easier to remember and pronounce. why can't she give me a less generic sounding name like Big Bert? why huh? then another colleague saw how adorable i looked on my IC, and started calling me Lin Zhi Ying(林志颖）as my Chinese name contains the word 颖。。。。。。 however it also shown how much i had evolved as my nickname progressed from 小弟 while working as a temp 5 years ago to 猛男 in the current times.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:11 PM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Ok i'm running out of Star Wars inspired pictures to post. If you got any good one, contact me at my email situated at the right of the page. To make up for the lack of pictures, i going to recommend the "jiak ba peng, bo sai pang" people(aka people who are too free) a website to build your very own Stormtrooper Costume! Of course to cater to the filthy rich readers, you can save the hassle of getting your hands dirty and buy one here
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:23 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
 Darth Ooof using the force to choke the daylight out of me when i rejected his invitation to join the Dark Side. Padawan Sammm seems pretty elated that her Jedi Master got owned. Treacherous!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:22 PM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Ever since i got extremetracking running on my site, i had been able to trace how web users ended up on my site. Below are the top 5 keywords that lead to my blog. 102 22.82% chiling 101 22.60% lin 30 6.71% zao 30 6.71% geng 27 6.04% naked As you can see for yourself, more than 60% of unique visitors stumbled onto my site while searching for something saucy. Sex sells, that's the universal facts. To all the horny bastards who contributed to my web hits, a big FUCKING THANK YOU. (PS: Now that i had added the work fucking, perhaps more horny bastards will end up here by searching " Fucking Lin Chiling")
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:40 PM
 Using the force to encourage the deer to crap
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:26 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Another day has passed, which means we are one day closer to Episode III. The below picture would probably explain the origin of my blogger nick, Stormtrooper's Lackey.  Looking at the pic again, I probably could pass off as a Wookie if you stick some fur on me given the sheer punity of the Stormtrooper. (Thanks Ooof for the picture)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:48 PM
Tick tock tick tock.... 11 more days and counting to the premiere of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. To get you into the mood for this spectacle, i dug into my archives of photos and present you some Star Wars related gems.  Stormtrooper moonlighting as a runway model.  Ditto for Darth. Being the big bad ass in the galaxy doesn't gurantee you a big pay cheque.  Camera whores, Paris Hilton style.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:34 AM
Friday, May 06, 2005
Boys and girls, pay more attention during your Mandarin lessons. If not, you might end up like this. (Thanks to Julie for the link. Consistent with the url of this site, the link might offend some with its strong language. Click at your own peril.)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:08 AM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
I'm not as shallow as most people perceived me to be. There are more to me besides being obsessed with toys, animes, porn, breasts and being a menace to the society by gambling on mahjong. I also keep myself abreast of the situation between China and Taiwan. Recently Mr. Lien Chan, the Chairman of of the Taiwanese opposition Kuomingtan(KMT), embarked on a week trip to China to ease the tension that escalated during the Mr. Chen Shui Bian's tenure. The trip proved to be a success with China offering a number of concessions and gifts to Taiwan. One of the mooted gifts is a pair of Giant Panda.
Pandas have always been a symbol of friendship and peace, sending a message of goodwill to the recipient country. As reported in this BBC article, the most famous example of Panda Diplomacy was Chairman Mao's gift of two pandas, Hsing Hsing and Ling Ling, to the then president of USA Mr. Richard Nixon. The gift has already been met with derision back home in Taiwan. The ruling party has questioned whether they are trading their sovereignty for a pair of pandas. There are also debates on the names of the pandas. Looking at the names of the previous panda diplomats, there seemed to be a trend in their names, with majority having names like Dudu, LiLi, Hsing Hsing, Ling Ling and even a Ying Ying. If the gifts are accepted by Taiwan, what should they be called? Panpan and Dada? Or perhaps you have a better suggestion?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:48 PM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
 Don't anyhow pee in the lift hor! Got urine detection device to catch you, sio xim ah!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:57 PM
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Exams had ended and my hands start to get itchy again. Mr.E(pseudonyms are used to protect the innocence) suggested that we have a game of mahjong at Miss. WY's house on Friday night, 29th of April along with Mr.SQ. I thought it was a brilliant idea, i could make do with some entertainment and spare cash to tide me over before my attachment commences. The game started at 8.45pm and i was assigned to be the South Wind(南风）. The assigned seat seems auspicious enough as my back was facing the Kwan Yin's sculpture, leading me to think of the Chinese phrase 佛光映照, which implies that the Buddha is favouring me. The game started well enough for me having two 暗杠，ie drawing four of the similar tiles. However Mr. SQ started a hot streak from thereafter resulting in him winning handsomely and whipping half of my chips away. The first round ended around 12am with me winning a measly game of 两台。 This means that we proceed to the 2nd round of the game which means we get to change our seats. This time i got assigned the East Wind(东风）, which means i get to choose where i sits. Since the previous seat wasn't that auspicious, this time round i choose to face the Kwan Yin's sculpture instead. The result? The tiles i got were no better, the flowers were not forthcoming. Which ultimately led to this happening....
Losing all my chips! The game started with 2 Red Chips representing 10 dollars each, 11 Green Chips representing 2 dollars each and 15 Yellow Chips representing 0.20 dollars each, giving us 45 dollars worth of chips. And i ended up borrowing 20 dollars worth of chips to tide me to the end of the 2nd round. In the end, i lost a total of 58 bucks. Not a big sum of money to most hardcore mahjong players, but considering we played 20 cents a stake and capped it at a maximum of 5 stakes per game(the max one can lose is $6.40 per game), it was an utterly disappointing day for me. For the official record, Mr. SQ walked away 61 dollars richer, which led us to wonder if he spent the whole week praying to the God of Fortune. So this is it, congratulations to you guys on reading the most expensive post i had written to date. This bloody entry costed me $58 dollars to produce.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 4:44 PM
Remembered i posted this not too long ago? I'm glad to announce that i'm one bloody proud owner of One Piece Candy Toys Collection 4.
The packaging for the entire set The Strawhats
Badass Admiral Ao Kiji and the Gallery crew
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 4:20 PM
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