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Sunday, July 31, 2005
not long ago, the only kind of graffiti that we see are those of "Owe $ Pay $" nature. however with the invasion of hip hop culture, the standard of graffiti has gotten better, albeit still unlawful. this piece of work was recently spotted at Tampines Stadium.   Although it pale in comparison to those graffiti tags you see in the West, the graffiti pieces look like it took some bit of conceptualization for it to materialise. Of course spraying graffiti on properties other than yours is unlawful, so don't go around with cans of red and white spray to declare your love for Singapore.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:22 AM
Friday, July 29, 2005
These days, Singaporeans seem to have a penchant for coming up with weird names for themselves or their offspring. Before you start flicking magazines, story books, phone directories etc to find a name, let tyw advise you on some of the names to avoid. TIM TAY/TEY (Hokkien for being in the way) For the Mr. Tay and Mr. Tey out there, be sure to steer clear of the name Tim. Tim Tay Tim Tey ( a hokkien word for being in the way) , you think anyone would want to hire you meh? MONICA CHEN (Hokkien for groping the ass) Unless you want to be perceived as a sexually hormone charged pervert, choosing Monica as your name wouldn't be exactly a wise choice. HAUTE GAN (Hokkien for letting a pig hump you) With the word Haute seemingly in vogue these days, some impressionable young punks might contemplate choosing Haute as their name, with disastrous outcome if their surname is Gan DICK CHANG (Chinese for Long Dick) Having Dick as a name is already a cannon fodder for bad puns and crass jokes. Of course, it would be worse if your nick name is Chang...... DICKSON CHONG/MAO/LIU/CAI (Chinese for Worms/Hairs/Tumours/Vegetable growing on your dick) If you think being a Dick is bad, being a Dickson is worse. It is likely that everyone will start to take an interest in your personal hygiene and sexual habits. STEVE KOK/KWOK (Stiff Cock) I'm sure it's pretty hard to stand up to the occasions if you have such a name. HARRY KOK/KWOK (Hairy Cock) You must had be a dog in your past life. AARON KOK/KWOK (Errant Cock) What's wrong with having the same name as a Heavenly King? Perhaps the name isn't as reassuring as your girlfriend/spouse would have like it to be. LAMPARD ZHENG (Hokkien for Swollen Testicles) Finally a word of caution for the soon to be Mrs. Zheng. If your other half is a Chelsea fanatic, don't ever let him name your son after Chelsea's No.8 Frank Lampard. Random Picture of the Day  Falling coconuts in an industrial park?!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:49 PM
Monday, July 25, 2005
in a strange twist of events, pigs in indonesia are being culled because of fears that they are infected with the bird flu. isn't bird flu suppose to affect birds only? or can't the scientists give the pigs some respect and rename the strain of virus to pig flu or something. if this wasn't bad enough, the second wave of bad news came from Sichuan China. 17 farmers were killed and 58 others are showing symptoms of bird flu after coming in contact with dead pigs. if the situation doesn't improve, i can forsee a lengthy ban on pork in Singapore which means....NO MORE FUCKING KWAY CHAP AND PIG ORGAN SOUP!!!! it was bad when they banned the pig's lungs and blood during the Nipah Virus outbreak in 1998, i shudders to think what might happen to my sanity if they decide to ban everything pork related. and before all you pork haters like Ooof rejoice in unison, i would like to highlight that all poultry may face similar blackout on this island. if that really happens, we can literally go eat grass liao. Knn. Random Picture of the Day  I'm sorry, we have to eat you as the government has banned all meat products.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:52 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Following a previous entry on the male's anatomy, tyw is going to look into Singaporean's obession with the female reproductive organ, which is affectionately known as cheebye over our this side of the world. Before you start complaining about how crude and crass i am for mentioning cheebye on my blog, i would like to highlight the below picture to you.  (Picture courtesy of Lancerlord) Cheebye is probably the first and only official Hokkien swear word that appears in our national press. If you want to direct your wrath and hatred towards someone, find SPH and not me. So what is a cheebye, one may feel inclined to ask? Cheebye is a local Hokkien slang for the vagina. It's similar to what the British call the fannies, cunt, loveholes etc. Cheebye as a form of expression Unlike the male counterparts who have more peripherals and hence more diverse expressions for it, the usage of Cheebye as an expression is rather limited. Cheebye is often used to described a situation of frustration and irritation. Eg: Cheebye lah, stop disturbing me can or not? I'm trying to do my PA report. Often, the level of frustration expressed can be varied by adding some adjectives in front of Cheebye. To express that you are very annoyed, you can act these few choice words in front of Cheebye to great effect: Pua (Torn) Eg: Pua Cheebye lah! That bloody kuku of a driver bang my precious car and drove off! Chao (Smelly) Eg: Chao Cheebye! How the fuck can 0000 be the winning number?! Kelong sia! NaBeiCheeBye ( No idea!) NaBeiCheeBye!!! The Horseface(Ruud vanNisterlrooy) scored for Man Utd again! Make me lose money only! KanNiNaBeiChaoCheeBye ( Something along the line of screwing your mum) KanNiNaBeiChaoCheeBye! How dare you sleep during guard duty!? Go sign 21 first thing tomorrow morning. As you can see, the longer the adjectives usually implies a greater degree of frustration and anger. On a parting note, one should visit the NKF's crusader's, Rockson Takumi Tan, website for effective usage of Cheebye. Till then, KanNiNaBeiChaoCheeBye lah!Stop reading blog and go do your homework/housework/work! (Not so) Random Picture of the Day  One of the few picture i got when i searched for Cheebye on Google.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:51 AM
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Was having my regular dosage of mrbrown when i chanced upon this: Xiaxue's email and blog has been hacked It evoked a sense of deja vu as yours truely was once a victim of a "hack job". Although the damage done was minimal, it brought home the importance of beefing up your online security. Besides the advices offered by mrbrown, i would like to share a few more pointers: 1) Never use the same user ID and password for your important accounts and those of less important nature. You might not bat an eyelid about losing your password for the less important account, but the prepetrator is likely to try his newfound information on Hotmail, Blogger etc... ie: Never use the same user ID and password for Narutofan.com and MSN,Blogger. 2) Never trust a nutcase, be it your good friend or some regular Joe on the street. You never know when a nutcase decides to go bonkers and start a rampage.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:08 PM
Monday, July 18, 2005
eat your cereals and drink your milk. that's allegdy the key to a healthy lifestyle. not when you find surprises in your box of cereals like this poor tweener did. Boy finds snake in cereal packet i say fuck healthy lifestyle and indulge in sio te qiu (roast pork knuckles) congee for breakfast for the rest of our lives. (Not So) Random Picture of the Day 
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:46 PM
Sunday, July 17, 2005
when almost the whole fricking world is frantically flipping the pages of the new Hairy Trotter book, this lazy uncultural slob is resuming his previous read after a 1.5 years hiatus. The book i'm reading is aptly named after of my favourite genre of movies, Porno. the title may be a tad misleading, but it is actually a sequel to the critically acclaimed Trainspotting, which was later made into a movie that was best remembered as the show which launched the career of Ewan McGregor and also featuring the most digusting toilet scene ever. Trainspotting detailed the lives and struggles of three druggies and their nutcase pal. Porno follows up on how these four chaps are doing a decade later. Of the three druggies, one still remained an addict and sadly became HIV positive after all the needles sharing, another scooted to Ansterdam and became a club owner. The last of them, Simon, is having a grand vision of filming his own porno flick, hence the title of the book. Although the porno movie bit isn't the core of the whole book, it produces the funniest moment of the book. An example is how Sickboy goes about exalting the virtue of Anal Sex to his cast after some of them exhibited a reluctance of allowing rear entrances.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:02 AM
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
1,2,3 let us say awwwwwwwww together. Miss Lin Chiling hurt herself pretty badly after falling off a horse during filming last friday. The latest word is that she will have to undergo operation to remove blood clot accumulated at her chest area. Let's hope she will get well in a jiffy and pose for more sexy shots for the hot blooded male species out there. Since Miss Lin Chiling is in a pretty bad shape, i shall introduce another hot babe to tide us over while she recuperates. Introducing Miss Jessica Alba, starring in Fantastic Four and the soon to be released Sin City.  Miss Alba in bra with lasso  Miss Alba with two adorable pugs  Miss Alba cooping up her assets  Miss Alba airing her assets  Miss Alba in bed, braless!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:53 PM
Sunday, July 10, 2005
 Look at the frenzy crowd, maciam like a Aaron Cock's concert lidat.  The event's organiser set up a graffitti wall for the cosplayers to doodle on.....  And some chap decided to announce his big day to the rest of the world. Hur hur...  Most cost efficient costume award should goes to this chap. Pants from SAF, Boots from SAF, beret from SAF. All he need to do is stick a Germany flag on a khaki tee and viola he got himself a cosplay costume!  This lady has the most eco friendly costume of the whole show by the virtue of recycling the washing machine tubes as part of her mask.  The venerable one found his way to this event. But then, we caught him wolfing down a Big Mac during the event.  Most authentic cosplayer. Some guy cosplaying as a Singapore NSF soldier. Total dead ringer sia..  Winner of the best individual cosplayer. Heck, he owns with his Jiam Tao Loti hairstyle.  While every year people masquerade as characters from the hottest animes, gothic SM chicks never go out of fashion.  Personal favourite cosplayer, apparently cosplaying someone from Gunbound with a teapot lookalike prop....  Chioest cosplayer award goes to her..the chick cosplaying as the Fantastic Four character. But why The Thing is absent huh!?  Mr Kruger got pretty pissed with my paparazzi ways...  But he scooted off after the imperial troops came to my aid  Cosplay events are probably the only places whereby one can take upskirt shots blantantly.  MVP of the whole show probably belongs to Predator. The photographers hounded it like a horde of hungry wolves, snapping every moves it made. Batman was in the background, probably looking for the number to Pizza Hut. That's about it folks. Lastly, a shot of a rainbow that appeared outside the arena during the show.  (PS: The rest of the pictures could be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/theyodellingwanker/sets/568370/ )
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:10 PM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
first off, apologies for the lack of activities on this site due to more pertinent issues like watching the Worldpoolchampionship, wrestling, LOST and Desperate Housewives. next, FUCK YOU TERRORISTS. finally the attachment stint has got me thinking, what other career would i choose if i fails to get the coveted job in the banking/finance sector? Below are a list of possible careers i would foray into if the unthinkable occurs..... Porn Director People always quip that it's best to get a job which marries your interest with your work routine. Being a porn director would provide me with endless hours of free porn, while still getting paid. Besides, it doesn't take a Luc Besson or Steven Spielberg to be a great porn director. To hell with high angle,low angle,crab shots,track in shots etc. Just focus on the tits and the er....drilling actions and you get yourself a good porn flick. Easy job! However since Porn is illegal in the land of Merlion, chances of fulfilling my dream job is close to zilch. Maybe i should consider being a Singapore Tourism Promo Director, shoot 3 minutes of crap footage and i still get paid shitload of money. Police Constable Blame it on the Young Generation magazine that I used to read back in my formative years. After reading the adventures of Constable Ah Cai, i dreamt of growing up wearing a blue police uniform, donning the manly moustache like Constable Ah Cai. I grew up thinking that saving felines from the trees are the only thing that Police Constable do. While i came to realise that being a Policeman encompass greater responsibilities and duties, the thought of raiding vice spots in Geylang never fails to amuse me. Then again, the thought of having regular IPPT never fails to dampen my desire to don the colours of the police force. Golf Caddie For a period of time, i thought Golf was a stupid and boring sport catering to the old farts. But with the emergence of the elegant Michelle Wie, my perception of the sport took a 180 degrees change. Now i aspire to be a Golf Caddie, so i could be in close proximity with Miss Wie. However i realised that the odds of me pairing up with some fat geezers like John Daly is way higher than Miss Wie. Hey, i don't want to lug a heavy set of golf clubs for fat geezers who may even pinch my lunch. Random Picture of the Day
Mr Ooof, aka "The man who took many durian puffs but ate none"
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:39 AM
Saturday, July 02, 2005
 Darth: Luke, wa si lim lao pek.  Luke: : Lu ho wai tiam lah. Ta pak gong lu si wa eh lao pek. Jing kao bei kao bu.  Darth: Kan Ni Nah, lu jing bo tua bo swee. Kah Kia, hoot ah! Stormtrooper and Boba: Chiong ah!!  Stormtrooper: Ho lu eh si ah! *Bangs* *Pow* Luke: Ah!! Mai hoot wa eh yandao bin.  Boba Fett: Sia mi!!!!! Stormtrooper: Ah! Wa eh bak jiu!! Kua Bo ah!!  He-Man: By the power of grayskull, i am He-Man!!!! Everyone: Ah!!! Ang Moh Kao lai liao!! Chao ah!!!!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:27 PM
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