sing when you're wanking

sing when you're wanking <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7528148?origin\x3dhttp://theyodellingwanker.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

狗屎运 Dog poopoo luck

Yes, the trip down to Si Beh Lor over the weekend wasn't futile! I have passed my driving test by the skin of my teeth. It seemed that all was lost when the tester started giving me a dressing down during the debrief session, but arithmetic doesn't lie. Anything below 20 points get you the license and I got 14 points. God bless whoever that invented mathematics.

Now which car should I buy? This or this? Decision, decision, decision...

Random Video of the Day

Was listening to my sodagreen's collection last night and I thought the lyrics to this song is a reflection of my feelings towards the dragon boat accident. Although I don't know any of the deceased directly, it still hurts to see them to pass away like that....

苏打绿-是我的海
词曲:青峰

这些日子过来
突然间变成一片空白
这段日子是否
沉睡中忽然哭醒过来
太多意外
没想要勉强我感慨
太多困难
会让人害怕看未来
你知道我不想离开
你知道我有多无奈
如果时间一直走得那么快
我怎么对你依赖
阳光的下午慢慢感染
当海不蓝
飞起的梦想都变尘埃
泪流出来该怎么办
寂静的下午默默离开
海也不蓝
转过身不能再宠爱
我多想大声喊
我多不想明白
我只想唱来一些温暖
在我们心里不会腐坏

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:56 PM

0 comments

Monday, November 26, 2007

死了死了，怎么办？ Die die, how?

After sitting on it for almost half a decade, tomorrow is the day when the driving test beckons. Pass, I can finally cross out the item from my yearly resolution checklist. Fail, I will torch the driving school. Yeah right.

Preparations haven't been really ideal as my best friend, the flu bug, decided to show up to offer some support. I wondered what will happen if I inevitably shower the invigilator's face with some premium quality mucus tomorrow.

Since all the invigilators are males, would cross-dressing aid my chances of passing the test? I'm sure at least one of them will be turned on by my sexy hairy legs or ample man boobs. However, where the hell can I find a size 8 dress at such a short notice?

What if I knock down the pole while reversing during parallel parking? What if, lagi worse, I run down the invigilator during the parking sequence?

What if..die lah, think I better go back to sleep.

Random, (Not so), I also dont know whether is it related or not Video of the Day

Cardigans - My Favourite Video Game

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:22 PM

0 comments

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

无与伦比的美丽

If there is something like a perfect lady, I must have saw her last night. When the train door opened, this lass decked in a pink cardigan literally took my breathe away (actually it's pretty easy given how unfit I am). If not for the fact that I perpetually dream about unfathomable stuffs, she would definitely win the coveted title of "tyw's Dream gal". I was awe-struck by her sheer beauty that I couldn't stop stealing glances at her while using my outdated copy of The Economist as a prop.

Readers at this point will either a) get bored and click away or b) interested to find out what happened next. For the handful who are reluctantly inclined towards option b, the answer is I did nothing.

In the make believe world of TV land, the train would had come to an abrupt halt and the beautiful lass would fall right into my outstretched arms (and of all nights, the train ride was uncharacteristically smooth, DAMN!). Or taking a page out of Densha Otaku, she would be pestered by some drunk louts and yours truly would play the role of the Knight in Shining Armour and ride to her rescue. Sadly, the TV universe is seldom congruent with reality. I already consider it a blessing by not doing something embarrassing like farting in front of her, let alone having the testicular fortitude to chat her up.

Okay, time to stop fantasizing and get back to reading my FHM magazine.

(Not so) Random Video of the Day

Soda Green - 无与伦比的美丽

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:10 PM

0 comments

Friday, November 16, 2007

Banal Conversations

Now presented not only in English and Mandarin, but also extra-terrestrial friendly language!

tyw: Bye bye.

走了，拜拜。

GEajfi, Bdaiuf.

A: Wah, going home ah? Drive me home leh!

哇，回家了啊？载我会家叻！

HSIAFH GHSA? IFHasIFSHAI 个SAJic！

B: Where did you park your car? Drive me home too leh, I stay in the east too.

你的车帕在哪里？顺便载我会家叻，我也住在east side。

FWEIj sdij AEirf? gjhri;ghfFeqRJ, Awejfiprjre;f W#juqwe.

tyw: Sure, my car is parked at Ubi Driving Centre. I drive you home from there.

没问题！我的车怕在Ubi Driving Centre，你跟我去那边，我载你回。

QFhwA! gjri fjwe RUWEQIRj QRwfwe, HJi cjrC4# jc,..$W# Rv.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

M: Do you know how to cook?

你会烹饪吗？

GFRJEOFWQFO WEQFJcsaAie？

tyw: Yeah, I specialized in roast dishes.

会阿，我最擅长烧烤。

terwqefI, REQUf oqjroJq.

M: Really, what's your specialty dish?

是吗，那你的招牌菜是怎么？

fsdk, GearE VGew eOJG ?

tyw: Roasted Kitchen.

红烧厨房。

股weqDTUwe。

Random Picture of the Day

Toasty! And Tasty too!

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:46 PM

0 comments

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I am...cute!?

Over the past week, three of my female (ex)colleagues commented that I am...CUTE?! I would be moved to tears if I am a pre-pubescent young kid but at the age of 25, I don't know how should I react being labeled as cute.

Don't misunderstand me, I would rather be called cute than fugly. However I am someone who often associate the word cute with toddlers or puppies, thus explaining my ambivalence. Unless that is, being labeled cute can get me the same cuddles that puppies received from their doting female owners. And at this age, I would want to be label as tough, masculine but not cute!

Like beauty, the definition of cute is very subjective. For every person who believes that pugs, the one below, are the cutest thing to grace the universe, there are ten others who belong to the "pugs are fugly" camp. I can only hope and pray that there aren't thirty other females in this universe who think I am fugly. :(

Random song of the Day

The definitive canto dance track, after those Sammi Cheng's numbers.

陈奕迅-演唱会
曲:c k kong 词:陈诗慧

嘴巴似支枪那夸张其实极痕痒
每次我看见舞台会令血管都扩张
歌曲太铿锵要分享来吧尽情唱
节拍太强教人血脉沸腾欢呼声最响

一组扩音的喇叭合成电子加结他
一套鼓跟贝司已经足够尽情吧
听到吗声再沙亦无碍我放声吧
演唱会等于演唱现场不必多废话

表演要惊险坐飞毯难道是成见
你要看哪个会在舞台够胆踩钢线
可知我偏偏爱惊险难附和愚见
我有责任那时继续唱让歌声响遍天

一组扩音的喇叭合成电子加结他
一套鼓跟贝司已经足够尽情吧
听到吗声再沙亦无碍我放声吧
演唱会等于演唱现场不必多废话

兴奋吗气氛够激昂吗
随便叫随便跳这一晚可以尽情吧

青筋你都可看清楚连热泪流过
看看我哪里有别个及我喜欢唱歌
知音有几多我的歌连续被重播
派对里就似没昼夜我用麦克风切磋

一组扩音的喇叭合成电子加结他
一套鼓跟贝司已经足够尽情吧
听到吗声再沙亦无碍我放声吧
演唱会等于演唱现场不必多废话

一组扩音的喇叭合成电子加结他
一套高低音的结他已经足够尽情吧
听到吗声再沙亦无碍我放声吧
演唱会等于演唱现场不必多废话

兴奋吗气氛够激昂吗
随便叫随便跳这一晚可以尽情吧
声音再沙都足以享受吗
仍是我陈奕迅开演唱会不多废话

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:36 PM

0 comments

Monday, November 05, 2007

Super Mario

The laid back Sunday afternoon was badly interrupted with the stench of overflowing sewage from the clogged kitchen sink pipe. In a day that was earmarked to recharge my battery after the hell of a week I had at work, the last thing I needed was a stint as Super Mario, or 台湾水电工 (if you know who he is tsk tsk)

But a plumber I am not. Despite the aid of some chemical agent, the stubborn pipe refused to be unclogged and the family ended up paying 100 bucks for a professional to finish the job.

Perhaps I should get him to unclog whatever that is stymieing the flow of my brain juices too as I struggled for the entire afternoon to craft up something of remote resemblance to a resume.

SUPER MARIO, COME TO MY AID!!!!

Random song of the day

Eason Chan - Mario's Party

陈奕迅-玛利奥派对

我不要飞巴西畅渡假期
手中的电玩游戏
较三点式更完美
这歌嘛跟森巴节日无关
只关于虚拟游戏
怕超出你预期

在这斗室内让派对举行
美丽拳王和战士和经典玛利奥有份
一切是虚无但世界太枯燥
花一世名和利流汗拼搏
到最后同样是幻觉一种
湖泊里采鲜花
云层中去钻探
来学玛利奥渡假蘑菇都可当午餐
游戏中花非花
比真实更养眼
然后再颂赞亦有梦醒时刻
按下电掣同伴就散

快生厌返工的每件琐事
客户又喋喋埋怨
我假装倾听微笑
到家里握紧手掣在两手
栖身于虚拟游戏
以思想去漫游

没法可当成现世的英雄
我没强横弹跳力
无公主要被我救起
一世是虚无但世界太枯燥
到最后同样是幻觉一种
湖泊里采鲜花
云层中去钻探
来学玛利奥渡假蘑菇都可当午餐
游戏中花非花
比真实更养眼
然后再颂赞亦有梦醒时刻
按下电掣同伴就散

于家里开个舞会吧
嘉宾千万
不可以假也当真嘛
为何别人摇头评定我变了憨男
憨男们没有权避世吗

没法可当成现世的英雄
我没强横弹跳力
无公主要被我救起
一世是虚无但世界太枯燥
花一世名和利流汗拼搏
到最后同样是幻觉一种
湖泊里采鲜花
云层中去钻探
来学玛利奥渡假蘑菇都可当午餐
游戏中花非花
比真实更养眼
然后再颂赞亦有梦醒时刻
按下电掣同伴就散

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:07 AM

0 comments

Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloween

How did you spend Halloween?

I had the scariest Halloween ever, working till past 12 midnight.

Spooky......

Fuck.

Random Halloween video of the year

Scary..

posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:08 AM

0 comments