sing when you're wanking
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
the time has come for tyw to fall sick again. it seems like tyw has contracted a virus that will rears its ugly whenever examinations loom close. well let's not dwell too much on the frailty of tyw's body and instead focus on how lucrative working as a General Practioner can be. it occurs to me that a consultation with a GP can never last longer than 5 minutes. To illustrate the point, the consultation with my GP on monday lasted at best 3 minutes. I remembered vividly that when i went into the room, the second verse of Jacky Cheung's 我真的受伤了 was being played over the radio. When i left the room, the bloody song had yet to end.... it also dawned on me that to be a GP, communication skills is not that important. All the GP said during my 3 minutes long consultation was....
it makes me regretthat i didn't take my biology classes seriously during my secondary days or not i will be making big money now. i vow that i'm gonna force my children to memorize the whole damn biology textbook and make sure they go to medical school by hook or by crook.
(Not So) Random Quotes of the Week '"Yes...but it wasn't my idea to make his (Pires's) leg go numb. What happened? I don't know. " Henry on the infamous penalty kick by Pires.
"I am focusing on how well they wash my car instead of their figures" Mr Car Owner, responding to reporter's query at a recent promotion involving bikini clad girls doing car washing duties.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:57 PM
Thursday, October 20, 2005
one of the greatest regret during my internship was not getting to taste the famous Amoy Street Lor Mee. During normal lunch hours, the queue for the lor mee can snakes till around 10 metres long, which is a huge turn off given the miserable 1 hr lunch break and the heat at the hawker centre. therefore i made a mental note to myself that i die die have to try the lor mee once lest i kena stranded on Jurong Island or Tuas when i start working next time. so when i was down at CBD area on wed around 2pm to collect my specs at the Oakley shop(got chio bu receptionist wearing plastic specs), i was surprised that no one was queuing up at the stall.  No queue!  Must be damn good, cos Slyvester "Sticks tongue out of mouth" Sim endorse one leh  Once again proving the fact that good food are usually prepared by elderly folks. Due to my gluttony and sheer hunger, i devoured the whole bowl of lor mee before remembering to take a pic of it. In fact it's so good i would give it a five wanks rating if im writing a food column ala K.F Seetoh's makansutra. So to those chaps and gals who are going to intern at the CBD area, remember to patronize this Lor Mee stall located at the end of the 2nd storey of Amoy Street Hawker centre during your lunch hour. Alternatively, you can spend your lunch time visiting the Oakley shop ogling at the chio receptionist wearing plastic specs. (Not so) Random Quote of the Day: " I was drunk then. My roomie opened the door closer to him while i opened mine. It felt like standing at the door of an airplane just before parachuting down the plane. Therefore i jumped out of the car in my druken stupor." Mr. Jalek Tham, on why he jumped out of a car travelling at 40km/h.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:43 PM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Pardon the title, it's more like a case of creative juices drying up than erectile dysfunction. And this post not about porno lest you ham sump people get horny, rather it's just a summary of what happened in tyw's life over the past week or so. 1. Security Checks at MRT Stations Have you seen anyone being stopped by the security staffs stationed at the MRT station before? Before you start writing to the ST Forum pages and complain that the security staffs are a waste of tax payer money, tyw went through not one, but two such security checks and survived to tell the story. Contrary to what most think (at least that’s what i think), they do not strip search you. All the security guy did was to peer into your bag for less than 5 seconds and send you off with a friendly pat on the back. This brings us back to two pertinent issues again: - Aren’t they wasting tax payer money by employing us friendly security staffs who aren’t vigilant in their security checks? - And why the heck am I the only one who gets targeted by the security staffs? Well…maybe they mistaken my ample paunch as explosives strapped to my midriff… 2. The birth of my lucky charm Last Tuesday, I was tucking into my usual Yong Tau Foo kosong( which in laymen terms means Yong Tau Foo without any noodle, rice etc) at Canteen B with FYP mate 1 and Leon. I was merrily sipping the soup when FYP Mate returned with the can of coke he purchased for me. Fishing into my coin pouch, I managed to dig out two fifty cents coins to pay for my drink. As I was handing the coins to FYP mate 1, one of the fifty cents coin dropped into my precious bowl of Yong Tau Foo!! The more I tried to fish out the coin with my spoon, the deeper the coin sank into my bowl of soup. Being someone who believed in not wasting food, I continued to tuck into my bowl of Yong Tau Foo while looking out for my 50 cents coin. Alas, after sipping almost half of the soup, I managed to find my precious……… (Breaks into Gollum’s voice)  I believed the whole incident was staged by the powers that be who lies somewhere in this universe. As such, I am treating the 50 cents coin as my new found lucky charm. When the time is ripe, I will take this coin and purchase a quick pick for TOTO. And before you know it, tyw gonna be a millionaire. Bwaahahahahaha! Interesting Quotes of the past fortnight “Give a man a fish and he can only eat it for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he can eat for ever.” Mr. “ Jalek ” Tham, who exalted on the importance on learning how to tie a tie instead of getting someone to tie it for you. “Banking products are similar to milk products. All milk comes from cows, it just a matter of how you package it.” James, commenting on the proliferation of banking products in the market. Random Picture of the Day  Hands up, those who used one of these over the past year. Ps1: Get well soon 031. Ps2: tyw is looking for people to watch Cheer Chen's concert on 19th November 2005. For more details on the concert, go to sistc website. For more details on the singer, visit www.cheerego.com
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:48 AM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The following conversation took place between a banking and finance professor and his students, over the usage of rosewood. Before we go into the conversation proper, here's a definition of rosewood, from Wikipedia Rosewood refers to a number of richly hued timbers, brownish with darker veining. All rosewoods are strong and heavy, taking an excellent polish, being suitable for flooring, furniture and turnery. In general, supplies are poor through overexploitation. Some species become canopy trees (to 30 m high), and big pieces can occasionally be found in the trade. Professor: Before i continue, do you guys have any idea what's rosewood is used for? Accounting Chap: Coffin The rest of the class broke out into unrestrained hysterical laughters Professor: Rosewood, my friend, is one of the hardest wood around. You can burn it with a cigarette and it won't leave any markings behind. So unless you want to preserve a body, you won't want to buy a rosewood coffin. On the topic of Liverpool, in the wake of the 4-1 drubbing by Chelski. FYP mate 1: Your Liverpool cannot make it liao la. Can kiss goodbye to the league title liao. FYP mate 1's friend: Nevermind, we will win the champion's league again. At the end of the season, you will see the image of Gerrad hoisting the Champion's League Trophy over his head again. tyw: We apologize for showing the footage from last year's Champion League final. (Not so) Random Picture of the Day  Anyone seen Peter Crouch?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:24 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
"Chee beh, the chicken must had drown in the sea!" -Mr."Jalek" Tham, after tasting a f**king salty piece of chicken chop. "Are those dogs..... real?" -Miss Strawberry Shortcake, upon seeing Nintendogs. tyw: Wah, you VCD seller huh, how come tuck out your shirt? James: Aiya, we are at the interchange liao mah. No XXX bank staff around to see us liao mah. FYPmate1: Eh, think one of the staff is was on the same bus as us... X: Really meh? True to FYPmate1's words, we really saw one of the XXX bank staff who only a moment ago, was mingling with the undergrads at XXX bank recruitment talk... tyw: Nabei, to think i was damn impressed by XXX bank during the presentation just now. Now i don't want to join them liao la. Can't even pay the staff enough money to buy a car or even take a cab. Nabei. Random Picture of the day  Rs and Mabel, who i reckoned salivates as much as Bobby :P, enjoying quality time with Nintendogs
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:01 PM
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