sing when you're wanking
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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
I had this friend, James, who often says the most political incorrect things resulting in seriously side splitting moments. This occured while on the train journey home...... Tyw: Wah lao, next week ZYG taking over lecturing duties leh. Don't know whether can understand his heavily accented cheena english or not leh... James: For our sake, he should conduct his lectures in Mandarin, since there aren't many non Chinese around anyway. Tyw: I also say. But our lecture got a few ang moh exchange students leh.... Ys: Besides that, how you going to expect him to say terms like US. Treasury, T-Bonds etc in Chinese? At this point of time, yours truly attempted a rant in an exaggerated Chinese accented Mandarin. Tyw: 你知道吗。。。 Blah blah blah James: You know what's the problem with the PRCs or not? They speak like they have a banana stuffed in their mouth. Next time, ask them to remove their bananas before talking to me. (Not So) Random Picture of the Day  Please be reminded to remove the banana before speaking. Thank you.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:06 PM
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Sorry to disappoint those who jumped the gun and wrote eulogies for my blog, this place is not shutting down. Got my hands tied up with school work lately, coupled with the fact that i developed a habit of doing absolutely nothing during my free time meant that updating my blog was not on my agenda. However, i can't always depend on the 20 odd souls who came to my site in search of Lin Chiling pictures to sustain a healthy traffic for my blog. So here i am, blogging again to arrest the alarming slide in my readership.... Over the past week, i learnt several interesting facts, the first being why Jurong Point(JP) isn't called Boon Lay Point(BLP). It simply defies geographical logic for the shopping mall to be called JP when it is smacked right in the heart of the industrial/tertiary hub, Boon Lay, except maybe JP was erected during a time when the PAP was fiddling with their constituency zoning. It suddenly dawned on me that the real reason behind the naming of JP got something to do with the acronym of Boon Lay Point. BLP stands for Bo Lan Pa, which is a Hokkien slang for lacking in testicular fortitude. With an acronym like BLP, any egoistic male consumers would rather die than to appear in the shopping mall. Obviously the developer of JP wanted a shopping mall that could appeal to both the genders, hence naming the shopping mall Jurong Point to avoid a dig at the male gender. With the oil prices hovering close to the USD 70 mark, it occurs to me that if I can find some ways to harness the oil deposited inside me, I could be one hell of a rich man. Recently the urge to spend some cash had been resurfacing again. Should I get a new pair of spectacles, or a new toy like the one below?
 Getting the Nintendo DS means i get to play Nintendogs, whereby i get to rear a virtual PUG!!!! How fucking cool can that be!!! I WANT TO REAR A PUG, IT IS THE CUTEST DOG IN THE WORLD!!!  Till the next time i blog, be good and drink your milk. Ciao. Random Picture of the Day  I can't believe i spent my weekend with an act cute Ah Lian.....
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:29 AM
Monday, August 22, 2005
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:18 AM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Japan speed-eater in dumpling win Eating champion wins new contest Over the weekend, Takeru Kobayashi won two speed eating contest in Hong Kong, by trouncing the local contestants in a race to gobble down the most dumplings and char siew paos. Mr Kobayashi, who weighs a mere 65kg, is also a five time winner of an American Hotdog eating contest and a record holder of eating the most hamburgers. Given his slight frame, he debunked the myth of fat people having huge appetite by trouncing opponents who were often twice his size. Given Singapore's fascination of setting the most banal World Records( like the World Longest Popiah, World Largest Matchmaking session, World Largest Pizza, World Largest Logcake etc...), we should invite Mr. Kobayashi over to a Durian Eating Contest. He will probably puke his guts out while others merrily chomp their way into the Guinness World Record. (Not So)Random Picture of the Day 
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:13 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
 tyw getting all hyped up for the big event!   on the way to the big event, there were a whole load of Singaporeans decked in red  There you go, the big event held in Tampines, the heartland version of the NDP celebration. But.......  that's not where i'm heading for. Eating KFC on National Day became a family tradition since a few years ago. So tyw is going to KFC to da pao some genetic modified "chicken" home. Woohoo!  wah, KFC giving away free food is it? how come so many people queuing up??  after 15 mins of wait, i finally inches close enough to the counter to take a shot of the menu  amazing discovery of the day! KFC is selling Cheng Tng at $1.85 per bowl. What's next, KFC selling vegetarian mock chicken? after dinner with my family, we settled in front of the TV catching the NDP. Was harbouring an evil thought of seeing some cock up from the parade contingent, ala the slip up from the Parade Commander from 5 years back, but too bad everything went smoothly. Damn!  i got a tad bit emotional when i saw this big boy appeared on TV during the mobile contingent drive pass. 2 years of my NS term was spent maintaining this howitzer so seeing this machine brought back some fond, and not so fond memories of my NS term. when the clock struck 8:15pm, there was a fireworks display at the Tampines NDP celebration. it was my virgin fireworks viewing experience and i was fortunate to snap a picture using my camera phone.  during the fireworks display, a mynah was probably stunned by the loud noises and flew into my house to seek solace. to thank us for the hospitality shown, it decided to leave some birds droppings as a National Day gift before flying off. Thanks mynah!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:00 PM
The following conversation piece was triggered off during a mahjong after hearing "Lao Shu Ai Da Mi" being played on air.... Ah Sheng: "Wah, that's my favourite song man! Why don't they adopt it as a National Day Song?" My Bro : " The song sucks lah. There's no chance it'll ever be sung at the NDP." Ah Sheng : " Imagine Nathan, Lee Hsien Loong singing 'Wo ai ni,ai ze ni' during the NDP man..." TYW : " If that happens, i will defect to Malaysia." Not so Random Picture of the Day  Some tourists must had a real unpleasant time in Singapore to conjure up with this image. There's a spoof site of the Tourism Board's Singapore Roars campaign too.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:57 AM
Monday, August 08, 2005
Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief Fucks off to Benfica Keegan fills Schmeichel's gap with Seaman! Dick hard on Arsenal/Chelsea stars Click on those, i promise it wont direct you to some Gay porn website. (via Toontownman and Paul Mosley, from Newcastle-Online Forum)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:42 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Alrightly, the previous installment touched on the meaning of Cheebye, and the strings of adjectives that can be used in conjunction with Cheebye to liven up your swearing and cursing. This time round, I’m touching on the hilarious situations that arise due to the usage of Cheebye at the wrong situation. Since the word Cheebye is used by majority of the male population (due to the "training stint" with SAF), it presents some hilarious situation simply due to the fact that guys do not possess a cheebye. Of course, that’s unless the person works at Changi. My brother once told me of this IPPT that he sat for during his NSF time. While the NSFs were at the sit up station, summoning the last ounce of energy to do the extra sit up, one chap began to yell out in pain due to over-exertion of his abdominal muscles. However instead of helping this poor chap, everyone who heard his scream burst out in laughter. Before you start chastising them for being mean and cold blooded, hear what the bloody joker screamed.... "Cheebye! Cramp Cramp!" Coincidentally, my brother's camp was situated in Changi.... Recently I had supper with this foul mouthed friend of mine, whose speech is peppered with so much profanity that would put even the most hardcore army warrant officer to shame. While we were boasting about each other’s stash of porn, he suddenly burst out into a profanity laden rant about his computer, which ultimately cumulated to this…. “Cheebye! My computer’s hard disk crashed!” Since when did technology advanced at such a bullet speed that they actually pack a hard disk into the cheebye?? Maybe microchips are fitted into tampons to monitor when the red tide will arrive each month. Herm…. Random Picture of the Day  Have you retro fitted your windows yet?
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:51 AM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
On the treacherous journey home from NTU, i was awaken by this horrendous singing by this cute looking kiddo. I strained my ears to listen to what song was he slaughtering and to my horror, he was not singing "London Bridge is falling down" or "Mary has a little lamb" but 老鼠爱大米/Lao Shu Ai Da Mi/ Old Mouse Loves Big Grain. While i'm stupefied by the qauality of songs that parents are exposing their kids to, i'm more concerned that the kids will grow up falling for gals without noses..... 
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:52 PM
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