sing when you're wanking
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Thursday, August 31, 2006
Hope can be a powerful tool, as demostrated in the movie "Shawshank Redemption". The tagline of the movie reads: "Fear holds you prisoner. Hope sets you free."
Hope too, can be such a destructive tool. If falsely given, the effect is insidious. Its like feeding a druggie with dope even when you know that it will ultimately lead to immiment doom. To put things in perspective, its like how the Singapore Idol judges gave false hope to Joakim Gomez when he made a small stride in his vocal performance . While it was commendable on his part, it might actually got him thinking that he actually could make the cut as a singer. That, is cruelty. My friend told me this earlier in the day : "这世上最美丽的故事往往都发生在面临绝望时,希望降临在你面前." And i told him this: "这世上最残酷的事,也往往发生在面临绝望时,身旁的人还依然坚持给他一些不可能发生的希望." Hope can be a double edged sword, so use it responsibly. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. Recently, people around me were and some are still involved in some messy relationship issues. It's pretty obvious that i'm not a relationship guru, so all i can do is hope and wish that everything will turn out fine for those involved. Today's featured song is 在凌晨, by Zhang Zhen Yue. It's usually in the still of the night when the minds start to run wild. I feel the song is an accurate and heartfelt depiction of the lonliness and sorrow that run through the minds of the broken hearts, emoted excellently by the errant rocker. 在凌晨 (click here for the mp3 version) 词曲: 张震岳 在凌晨两点十分慌张想你 吸着无法入眠的空气 如果是梦镜也许是幻影 我想沉醉在这里 常常会发现你在我的身旁 听我当兵的故事很有趣 清晰的感觉永远不会变 而你不在这里陪我 我忘不了你给我最当初的礼物 忘不了你给我最当初的礼物 答应我陪我去寻找我的梦想 到头来我不是你选择的人 也许你是对的
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:31 PM
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
To refute claims that my only use for the internet is to expand his porn collection, i'm going to highlight some interesting articles i came across while doing my Oprah, the new marketing phenomenon? Oprah's favourite burger? The Oprah Effect In Singapore context, who is capable of making or breaking a product? Hmm, PM Lee Hsien Loong would come closest to having the Oprah Effect when he praises certain businesses during his annual National Day Rally. Its more probable seeing snow than a protest in Singapore. Singapore police deny World Bank protest permit "We have considered them and we have turned them down for the same reasons," said Aubeck Kam, director of the operations department at the Singapore Police Force. "Essentially such activities will disrupt security preparations." Yeah, yeah. Using 21 words to explain the denial of permit when a mere 3 words would suffice, CHEE-SOON-JUAN. Go Mozilla, Go Mozilla, GO! Mozilla Goes Mainstream Yes, this blog is best viewed using Mozilla Firefox. Download Firefox using the newly added button on the sidebar.
Er..Porn Mother wins ban on violent porn While i like my porn, i'm all for the above ban on violent porn and the larger scourge, kiddie porn. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. Woot, today i'm going to feature 2 songs! 2 freaking songs, cause i'm in a good mood. Got a cheap thrill when this goondu PT kit wearing PTE greeted me Sir while i was back getting my clearance signed. Technically speaking, its 1.5 songs as the 2 tracks share the same music but with different lyrics. Recorded on his 2001 offering, 翅膀 was the first single that received heavy airplay. While hidden tracks are common in the Western music scene, it is often unheard of such hidden treasure in the Mandarin scene. In the same album, Wubai recorded a hidden track titled 空白, which can be found at roughly the 9:30 mark of the last track 梦的河流. Same music, same composition and even the same lyrics for the chorus, but lyrics for the latter version make use of a color for every verse. Too bad i can only lay my big fat hands for the lyrics to 翅膀,as the lyrics for 空白 was never officially published. Enjoy! 翅膀 (clicky here for 翅膀, clicky here for 空白) 词曲: 伍佰 如果我有一双翅膀 我要离开这个地方 我奋力一掷 我就飞到了云端 可以靠近点月亮 当我离开这个地方 不会再有痛苦哀伤 风儿总把沙子吹向了远方 跟我一样的愿望 慢慢的当我发现 已经忘记你的脸 慢慢的我就出现 无可所谓的容颜 如果你要和我飞翔 不要离开我的肩膀 一不小心就会失去了影像 我想一个人流浪 慢慢的当我发现 已经忘记你的脸 慢慢的我就出现 无可所谓的容颜 如果你要和我飞翔 不要离开我的肩膀 一不小心就会失去了影像 我想一个人流浪
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:20 PM
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
In my typical "Johnny come lately" fashion, i joined the Neil Gaiman's fanclub only after his visit to our sunny island. My heart aches for my copies of American God, Anasi Boys, Good Omen and Neverwhere that seem so naked without Neil's signature. About 3 weeks ago, i started collecting his critically acclaimed "The Sandman" graphic novels, by purchasing the first of ten books, Preludes & Nocturnes. However with each book costing close to 30 bucks from Kino, it would likely to burn a hole in my pocket, and likely to spread to my undies too judging by the huge outlay of capital. Therefore if there're any kind souls who know of comic shops who are selling the graphic novels at cheaper rates, do kindly drop me a message. And fuck, i just realized that they are releasing a hardcover edition of "The Sandman". Fuck fuck fuck. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. It's Tuesday which means we are only four days away from the concert!!! Besides the joy of attending the imminent concert, it also means that i no longer need to crack my head figuring what songs to feature for my entries. Limited by the choices available on the net, there are numerous songs i wished i could recommend to the readers. It warms my heart to know people like yaohui and Ooof actually like some of the songs i featured. Taste in music is something subjective, so to have people sharing your interest in music is a joy to have. Aye, enough of the crap, today featured track is 乾妹妹, by Zhang Zhen Yue. I'm not sure about you, i cringe when a guy tells me: " No lah, that girl not my girlfriend leh. I treat her as my mei mei only." What a pile of bollocks! To me, that statement either mean 1) This gal isn't chio enough, 2) This gal's boobs/ass/or whatever makes you tick isn't to your taste or 3)The gal is a backup plan. 乾妹妹 (click here for mp3 version, which loads faster than drying paint or here for an aac version which require players like itune or kmplayer) 词曲: 张震岳 我真的不是故意伤了你的心 你知道嘛男生嘛 总会有小小的出槌 我每次出去玩都会打电话给你 只有这次一时忘记 舞池里面的空气一向如此难闻 发现你在人群也发现我 旁边的女生是她喝醉跑来认识我 暂时叫她乾妹妹 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 你以前还不是我的乾妹妹 也许很多馀 但我最爱是你请你要相信 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 只是不小心牵到她的手 也许很多馀我等下就回去 请你要相信 覆水难收的误会说也说不清 是我的错要怎样随便你 我现在对天发是只想告诉你 我始终没有变心 我真的不是故意伤了你的心 你知道嘛男生嘛 总会有小小的出槌 我每次出去玩都会打电话给你 只有这次一时忘记 舞池里面的空气一向如此难闻 发现你在人群也发现我 旁边的女生是她喝醉跑来认识我 暂时叫她乾妹妹 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 你以前还不是我的乾妹妹 也许很多馀 但我最爱是你请你要相信 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 只是不小心牵到她的手 也许很多馀我等下就回去 请你要相信 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 你以前还不是我的乾妹妹 也许很多馀 但我最爱是你请你要相信 只是乾妹妹刚认识的乾妹妹 只是不小心牵到她的手 也许很多馀我等下就回去 请你要相信 覆水难收的误会说也说不清 是我的错要怎样随便你 我现在对天发是只想告诉你 我始终没有变心 我现在对天发是只想告诉你 我始终没有变心
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:15 PM
Monday, August 28, 2006
First Newcastle United lost. Next our new striker 10 million pounds striker, the exotically named Obafami Martins, got crocked in the 60 minutes of the match. Attempting to escape the harsh reality of the real world, i sought refuge by visitng the cyberspace only to receive brickbats on how disgusting i look. Boohoohoo.... So now i'm trying to keep my hands occupied by blogging lest i go slice my wrists. Note to self: Think happy thoughts. Happy, albeit disgusting, Thoughts One: Spotted this real funny scene involving a young puppy which reminded me why i love dogs so much, especially dogs like these. I was at the Eastpoint Pet Safari oogling at the puppies when i saw this particular young pup taking a crap. Immediately after relieving itself, the young pup turned over and sniffed at his steaming hot pile of crap. Then it stuck out its tongue and started savouring its own crap! Apparently the steaming pile of crap was too hot for it to handle, and it choked on its own crap. In the end, the pup vomitted out what it ate with the assistance of the pet shop owner. Tsk tsk, so boys and girls, never eat your own crap. Happy Thoughts Two: Technically, this doesn't really qualify as a thought. It's more like a funny joke that evokes happy thoughts. Anyway, ty overheard this on Class95's Car Tunes which i will attempt to paraphrase: Rod: I used to have this teacher whose eyes are perfectly fine until she stepped into the classroom. Jean: Oh, what happened when she stepped into the classroom? Rod: She gets crosseyed. Jean: Why so? Rod: She can't control her pupils. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. Screw the Speak Mandarin campaign, the featured song of the day is a Hokkien ditty 心爱的再会啦 by Wubai. Not exactly the most appropriate song choice when i need to think positively. This song conjures up vivid images of a tearful parting between loved ones after repeated listens. Here's something that i'd probably told no one before, i listened to this song before i enlisted for army. At that point of time, i guess it was more about bidding farewell to my material comforts and cosy world that i was accustomed to.
Here's another thing that you probably don't know (ooh, two secrets in a day!), i intend to play this song at my funeral. I know people plan all sorts of special events, like their birthdays, romantic getaways etc, but i envisage a funeral that has my own style stamped all over it. Come to think of it, it's hard to assert my wishes when i'm six feet under ground. Anyway if i have my way, this song shall be played at my funeral unless the government decides to outlaw all dialects by the time i move on. 心爱的再会啦 (click to listen) 词曲:伍佰 海上的船螺声已经响起 对你犹原情绵绵今日要来离开 心爱的不甘看你珠泪滴 在我不在的时候你着保重自己 异乡啊总有坎坷路要行 我袂寂寞有你在我的心肝 男儿啊立志他乡为生活 和你团圆在我成功的时 最后的船螺声又再响起 犹原不甘来离开 手牵着心爱的再会啦
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:23 AM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
 Like Zoe Tay, the secret to my cellulite ridden skin is that I swallow too. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. Whether be it you are facing problems with your schoolwork, relationship, a game of tic-tac-toe etc, maybe it's time for you to admit that all isn't smooth sailing and evaluate your options again. 认输 (click to listen, takes eternity to load though) 词曲:张震岳 长越大原来单纯的快乐 已不再我们身边很久 为什么匆匆忙忙的出门 回到家面对电视发呆 不管下雨太阳 早就不会感动 盲目的在奔跑 累了也不知道 再多喝几杯酒 以为就是解脱 那答案是什么 原来自己不聪明 原来什么都没有 原来应该了解的道理 现在才知道 原来输给了时间 原来输给了自己 原来错 长越大原来单纯的快乐 已不再我们身边很久 为什么匆匆忙忙的出门 回到家面对电视发呆 不管下雨太阳 早就不会感动 盲目的在奔跑 累了也不知道 再多喝几杯酒 以为就是解脱 那答案是什么 原来自己不聪明 原来什么都没有 原来应该了解的道理 现在才知道 原来输给了时间 原来输给了自己 原来错在不承认失败 谁可以原谅我 原来自己不聪明 原来什么都没有 原来应该了解的道理 现在才知道 原来输给了时间 原来输给了自己 原来错 ^-^ 原来自己不聪明 原来什么都没有 原来应该了解的道理 现在才知道 原来输给了时间 原来输给了自己 原来错在不承认失败 谁可以原谅我 原来自己不聪明 原来什么都没有 原来应该了解的道理 现在才知道 原来输给了时间 原来输给了自己 原来错在不承认失败 谁可原谅我哦~~~~~```
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 3:24 PM
Friday, August 25, 2006
Poor pluto. It was bad enough when a goofy dog uses its name, and now it finds itself booted out of the Solar System in a manner reminscent of the Survivor reality TV show.
Update: It didn't take too long for the backlash to swarm in. Read Scott Adam's (Dilbert's writer) take on the issue and also other scientists' reaction to it. On a separate note, i have been waking up at bloody early hours even though i need not head back to camp. Damn you army for screwing up my bio clock. I guess it's time to find some activities to make myself useful in the early morning, like joining the Taiji group or bringing my Nintendogs out for a stroll in the park. (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. I always find it to be a listening pleasure when male singers cover songs originally sung by females. The featured song, 被动 (passiveness), ranks as one of my favourite male covers. Originally sung by Tarcy Su, it depicts the passiveness and reservation often displayed by females in a relationship. With Wubai's cover, there is a complete role reversal. Juxtaposing the meaning of the lyrics with his masculine and tough as nails demeanour, it provides an interesting and rewarding spin on the disc player. Besides this cover version was recorded live, which amplifies the listening pleasure as he exudes his natural onstage charisma. 被动 (click here for Wubai's version, here for Tarcy's version) 作词:潘丽玉 作曲:伍佰 我可以很久不和你联络 任日子一天天这麽过 让自己忙碌可以当作藉口 逃避想念你的种种软弱 我可以学会对你很冷漠 为何学不会将爱没收 面对你是对我最大的折磨 这些年始终没有对你说 爱你越久我越被动 只因你的爱居无定所 是你让我的心慢慢退缩 退到你看不见的角落 爱你越久我越被动 只因我的爱不再为你挥霍 是我让我的心失去自由 却再也没有勇气放纵 我可以很久不和你联络 任日子一天天这麽过 让自己忙碌可以当作藉口 逃避想念你的种种软弱 我可以学会对你很冷漠 为何学不会将爱没收 面对你是对我最大的折磨 这些年始终没有对你说 爱你越久我越被动 只因你的爱居无定所 是你让我的心慢慢退缩 退到你看不见的角落 爱你越久我越被动 只因我的爱不再为你挥霍 是我让我的心失去自由 却再也没有勇气放纵 爱你越久我越被动 只因你的爱居无定所 是你让我的心慢慢退缩 退到你看不见的角落 爱你越久我越被动 只因我的爱不再为你挥霍 是我让我的心失去自由 却再也没有勇气放纵 没有勇气放纵
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 9:52 AM
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I used to find it ridiculous when my friends tell me that they have watched "My Sassy Girl" for countless times. Yes it's a wonderful show, but not even the best porn flick warrants repeated viewings. Notice the words "used to".
Before today i'd caught the show twice, once when it was released in the theatres (with a guy) and the other time was when i bought the DVD (with my brother). I was in the mood for something heartwarming, so i rummage through the stash of DVDs and found the show. So afternoon was spent watching "My Sassy Girl" alone (someone find me a girlfriend!!), and it dawned on me why my friends sat through numerous sittings watching the movie. While I will leave the literacy fawning of the movie to others, instead i'm seeking the help of hardcore fans and conspiracy theorists alike for help on this puzzling scene in the movie: "How did the frog get into the time capsule?" (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. The song that i'm showcasing today brings back memories as the third ever entry i made on this blog was about this song. How time flies, two years down the road and i still find the song meaningful. Not exactly a good thing, since the lyrics depict the thoughts of a bum who basically idled through his life without any contributions to the society. For those bums (like me) who are currently at the life's crossroad, use this song to reflect on where you see yourself in the future and also what you actually want out of life. 无路用的人 (click here to listen) 词曲: 张震岳 每天我醒来在床上就在发呆 我的脑袋跟天花板一样空白 昨天在干嘛 明天要干嘛 我的灵魂 似乎不在我的身上 唉呀 未接电话那么多 我想 狗屁事也非常多 我希望 这是一场梦 可以让我 轻轻松松忘掉很多 哇勒蛋 怎么可能会是一场梦呢 我很自由 可是没有工作 是一种痛苦的自由 我在惊什么 我在怕什么 也许 自由 是我逃避的借口 谁能够告诉我 我哪里出了错 反省 是多么重要的事情 可是我到最近才慢慢了解 笨蛋 这两个字我常常骂别人 现在 我只会骂我自己 我了解自己吗 不知道 都已经几岁了 还不知道 这几年 用尽所有力气 试着证明我跟别人不一样 懒觉啦 我的白痴自信和白痴骄傲 害了我 女朋友也跑掉 我还怀疑她妈的 她跟别的男人上床 原来问题出在我这里 我没听她说 她心里面的话 我真的好想她 但美梦已不再 我的车 我的电视 我的浴缸 我的零食 我的鞋 我的书桌 我的计算机 我的肥皂 我的灯 我的CD 我的盐巴 我的牙膏 我的笔 我的沙发 我的一切 不属于我 我的钱 我的冷气 我的地板 我的窗户 我的卡 我的衣柜 我的啤酒 我的菜刀 我的床 我的手机 我的吉他 我的印章 我的心 我的灵魂 我的一切 不属于我 度日如年哪 支离破碎的生活 我就像是没灵魂 在街上晃呀晃 像一滩死水 一种绝望的感觉 没有多余的眼泪来可怜自己 喔 没有人陪我 喔 寂寞的街上霓虹灯闪耀 它似乎在笑我 喔喔喔 啊哈哈 无路用的人
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 6:07 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Geez, just overheard this on the evening news. Mr. Ng Teng Fong, the local property tycoon, was named by Forbes as one of the richest person in Singapore, a list dominated by finance and property tycoons. If you are wondering what's so special about Mr. Ng, allow me to recall this hilarious moment of ignorance displayed by tyw during a wealth management class last semester: Lecturer: The security near my house is pretty tight as Mr. Ng Teng Fong lives just down the road. *The entire class shot him a blank look* Lecturer: You mean you don't know who's Mr. Ng Teng Fong? He is one of the richest man in Singapore, probably the most successful property developer in Singapore. tyw: I only know who's Ding Tai Feng, they sell delicious Xiao Long Bao. *Class erupted into guffaws* (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. When my family first subscribed to cable back when i was an impressionable secondary school kid, i was basically glued in front of TV watching the MTV channels. Back when i was really into bands like Nirvana, Soundgarden and Gun N Roses, i loathed the time when this really obiang mullet haired Hokkien Beng hogged precious airtime. That was until i heard the anthem, the definitive song for all heartbroken men. I especially like the spoken verses right at the end of the song, it simply exudes machismo.
浪人情歌 (click to listen) 不要再想你, 不要再爱你 让时间悄悄的飞逝, 抹去我俩的回忆 对于你的名字, 从今不会再提起 不再让悲伤, 将我心占据 让它随风去, 让它无痕迹 所有快乐悲伤所有过去通通都抛去 心中想的念的盼的望的不会再是你 不愿再承受, 要把你忘记 我会擦去我不小心滴下的泪水 还会装做一切都无所谓 将你和我的爱情全部敲碎 再将它通通赶出我受伤的心扉 不愿再承受, 我把你忘记 你会看见的, 把你忘记 我想到了一个忘记温柔的你的方法: 我不要再想你, 不要再爱你 不会再提起, 我的生命中, 不曾有你
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:27 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
A new EPL season, cue the onslaught of people questioning my allegiance. Just the other day, my friend asked me : "So do you still support Newcastle?"
While i do not blame him for asking me that question, but to those who know me well enough, asking me that question is akin to asking whether men pee with their pants on. I supported Newcastle United for almost a decade, and i do not see any reasons to jump ship. The club is etched into my life, with my emotions pegged to the fortunes of the club. It has been a lifelong dream* of mine to step into St James Park and watch the team play in fleshes. *(Of course i would gladly pass on that opportunity for a romp with Lin Chiling or Kurara Chibana.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wise men said : "In life, you never stop learning." How apt, today i learnt something useful. Ask the bus driver if you're unsure whether the bus in travelling in the direction towards your destination. Failure to do so might lead you to some exotic streets like "Canada Road" and "Pakistani Drive". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Not So) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zhen Yue's concert. "勇气", a song synonymous with Fish Leong. However personally i prefer Zhang Zheng Yue's song with the same title. A simple acoustic arrangement, yet sung with such heartfelt emotion. Well I guess guys with similar experiences as depicted in the lyrics will find the song meaningful. Blah, enjoy. 勇气 (click to listen) 词曲:张震岳 需要一点勇气 来对你说对不起 他一直在你的心中 我还爱上你 知道这样不行 偏偏继续下去 怎么会有结果 是我想太多 没有方向看不清楚在徘徊 我知道我一定 走不开 漫长的路寂寞的夜 在心里面哭泣的夜 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 我没有勇气没有力气 真的无法离你而去 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 你身边说爱你 需要一点勇气 来面对现在的心情 也许时间依旧 很快就忘记 知道这样不行 偏偏继续下去 怎么会有结果 是我想太多 没有方向看不清楚在徘徊 我知道我一定 走不开 漫长的路寂寞的夜 在心里面哭泣的夜 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 我没有勇气没有力气 真的无法离你而去 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 漫长的路寂寞的夜 在心里面哭泣的夜 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 我没有勇气没有力气 真的无法离你而去 你明白吗 只想在你的身边 你的身边说爱你
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:00 PM
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sometimes i'm amazed by the amount of lewd banal stuffs that come out from my mouth. Take this conversation that occured over a steamboat dinner last night: Guy Friends : Haha, you know there's this massage palour in Geylang which goes by the name BJ* Massage? tyw: There's one in Chinatown too. Guy Friends : How do you know, you went before ah? Puzzled looking Gal Friends: What's BJ ah? Sniggering Guy Friends: Haha, don't know leh. A poker faced tyw: BJ stands for Bali Javanese Massage. To save on printing such a lengthy name, the owner condensed it into the acroymn BJ loh. Sniggering Guy Friends : tyw must had visited the chain before and found out that they do not offer special services. That's the reason why he knew about the whole Bali Javanese thingy. Am i right, mr tyw? A poker faced tyw: No leh, i'm the owner of the chain. At this point, the guys broke into hearty guffaws while the ladies were still wearing a puzzled look. *BJ- Acroymn for blowjob. (Not so) Random Countdown to Wubai and Zhang Zheng Yue's concert Approximately two more weeks to the above mentioned concert, i thought it would be apt to start a countdown with some non-mainstream songs of the artistes. The first in the series, this nice romantic piano number "夏夜晚风" by Wubai. 夏夜晚风 词曲: 伍佰 夏夜里的晚风 吹拂着你在我怀中 你的秀发蓬松 缠绕着我随风摆动 月亮挂在星空 牵绊着你诉情哀 有你味道的风 就是我还在等待的爱 一个夏夜晚风的爱 一颗寂寞的心的爱 一个还在等待的爱 不知道怎么搞的 最近老是做这个梦 可能是我痴情 或者是我太笨 总之梦很美你也很美 只是我还在等 灯火闪着余波 随着你的呼吸移动 你说你想入梦 我的臂窝有你的梦 将你轻轻捧起 让你在我耳边细语 夏夜的风有你 就是我还在等待的爱
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 6:53 PM
Friday, August 18, 2006
The term "eventful day" has been loosely used over the years, but due to the lack of an expansive dictionary i shall persist in using it to describe the happenings that occured on 16th of August.
 Ah!!!!!! Why didn't i strike 4d???? Additional banal pictures of Mr.X and me, and also more pictures of beautiful, sweet and lovely graduates can be found here.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:48 PM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
" Eating a banana and washing it down with milk just doesn't measure up to drinking banana milkshake."
tyw's only gold medalist friend, drawing an analogy on why gals with mixed heritage are such stunning species. Random bouquet of the day At the insistence of a certain miss fmq, i would like to thank her for providing inspiration for the "Real men use tissue paper post". Now kind readers, please visit her's and her pooch's blog or she will probably cast a hex on me. Thank you.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:27 PM
Friday, August 11, 2006
"1 dollar, 1 dollar. Uncle, Auntie 跟我买 Tissue Paper 好吗?"
Anyone who saw SingaporeGaGa* will remember this ditty sung by a disabled tissue peddler. Tissue, such an essential item yet scorned upon when men carry them. My female friend was sniggering when i whipped out a packet of tissue over lunch yesterday. She remarked after seeing the said packet of tissue, which i paraphrase: "Mr Tham, i think you will find a girlfriend soon. So sensitive of you to carry tissue around." People has long associate men who carry tissue to be soft, or in recent times to be a SNAG (which i think is an euphemism for wuss). I disagree with this societal stereotype and i'm going to set the record straight, REAL MEN CARRY TISSUE PAPER. Tissue paper is like the urban jungle version of the swiss army knife, serving many important yet often overlook functions . Not convinced? Here's 5 reasons to make you a believer: 1. It comes in handy when you need to wipe that greasy mouth, especially so after pinching food from your unsuspecting colleagues. 2. With Singapore's humid temperature, tissue paper is essential to wipe away perspiration that takes way longer to dry than wet paint. 3. As pointed out by a.o, tissue paper serves as the passport (or EZLink card) to a seat at the hawker centres during lunchtime, that is unless you are foolish enough to use handphones to "chope" your seats. 4. You never know when you might meet a sobbing lady on public transport, who has probably been a) dumped by boyfriend over the phone, b) forgot to buy 4D and the number came in first or c) missed an episode of DaChangJin. I so happen to meet a gorgeous sobbing wreck on the train a couple of years back, but sadly i lacked the testicular fortitude to whip the pack of tissue and offer it to her. Sigh.... and lastly.... 5. "Poot.....Aaahhhhhhhh." *Looks over to your right and notice empty toilet roll* REAL MEN DON'T WIPE THEIR ASSES WITH FINGERS. *Personally i felt that the brilliant local produced documentary SingaporeGaGa, evoked a greater sense of patriotism in me than all the NDPs ever did. If i have my way, i will make all tertiary students sit through the screening of the documentary. Random Picture of the Day  消失已久的肥螳螂大战四眼蛇. The reclusive "Fat Praying Mantis" resurfaces in the epic battle with the "Bespectacled Cobra".
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:54 PM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
最近,我经常做同一个梦. 不知是否是我太痴情,或是太笨. 但梦很美,你也很美. 我还在等待,还在等待. A spoken verse, from Wubai's 夏夜晚风 recorded on his 厉害 concert. August 9, the nation's birthday. Thought it would be apt to post some Chinese verse to reinforce the government's campaign to get us speaking better Mandarin (Not that our Ang Moh is very the zai). Random Picture of the Day  Smile, or we can't get 4 bloody millions smiles to welcome the IMF delegates. Can't xia suay Singapore!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:19 PM
Monday, August 07, 2006
Here's something to brighten up the week for those who find joy in laughing at the misfortunes of others;
While i was peeing at the toilet over at the basement of Wheelock place, my buckle got detached from the belt and dropped right into the urinal. I'm not going to elaborate on what happened next, all that i'm going to say is that i spent a considerable amount of time soaping my hands.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:00 AM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
 You mean..Kermit didn't read what i am writing? (Not so) Random Picture(s) of the Day  Attack of the Kung Fu Graduate (PS: Take note of the tourists' expression in the background) The flickr set of Bogarden visit can be found here
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 4:41 PM
Saturday, August 05, 2006
I have heard of people getting tipsy drinking Hoegaarden, but these 3 belles could get high by simply being in Bogarden. (Botanic Garden)
I conclude that it's either a) breathing in too much pollens , b) the scorching heat making them looney or c) they are simply looney. Random Picture of the Day  Ahem... insert your own caption.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:48 PM
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