sing when you're wanking
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
"Hey TYW! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may everything go smoothly for ya this whole year round. enjoy your day! :) " I was taken aback by the above sms from jingsi. Maybe she knows another tyw whose birthday is on the 28th of Februaury. Or maybe...maybe she knows something that i dont, that i'm a superhero cloned by the government to protect our little island...Herm... "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As mabel "screams" in our msn conversation. I was really beginning to believe that im a government clone until she told me that Friendster listed my birthday to be on the 28th of February. Ah... i had forgotten i listed my birthday as 29th of February on Friendster as i thought it would only send out notifications once every 4 years. So take this as a lesson, dont believe everything you see on the internet. (Ps: Thanks jingsi and mabel for the well wishes) (Not so) Random Picture of the Day  Mabel's "birthday gift." I find it ironic that an anti-porn message actually appears on my site.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:59 PM
Monday, February 27, 2006
Where is the favourite hangout in Tampines of tyw?
Nokia Centre in Century Square. Based on the virtue that i had been there 9 times over the past 3 months; 5 times to repair the phone, 4 times to collect it. With trip no. 10 coming soon to collect the phone again. Why does Nokia has the most service centers in Singapore? While the number of Nokia users is indeed the largest in Singapore, i tend to believe that their phones break down more easily than their peers. Why? Refer to answer of the first trivia question.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:32 PM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
This is a post dated entry, which will remain here till i complete the Top 10 things to do for free in Singapore. Scroll down for more of the usual crap. Inspired by PingMag's article on Top 10 things to do for free in Tokyo, i've decided to do something similar for our lovely sunny island, with a little difference. First off, it definitely will not be as well written and strewn with pictures. Next, it will be done in a tongue in cheek fashion, taking the mickey out of the happenings in Singapore. Finally, i would greatly appreciate inputs from the readers, for suggestions on things that we can do for free in Singapore.
Therefore i would greatly appreciate any suggestions for the above topic, preferably directed towards the comments section of this post. (Ps: The mahjong losing streak continues for 2006, with six games played, and no money flowing in.) Random Picture of the Day  Election around the corner!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 5:33 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
In anticipation of watching Brokeback Mountain, the cheeky me have compiled a list of swoonable males that i would love to bed, when i finally decide that females aren't really my cup of tea. Notice that it's an All - Chinese line up solely because: 1.)I do not want to spend too much on lubricant and 2.) I still need my rear for excretion purposes, and not because i have anything against other ethnicities.
 1. Donnie Yen The kung fu moves, plus the bronze tan, mean that activities in the bedroom ain't going to be stale and boring.  2. Chow Yun Fatt Fatt gor, even in his 40s, still oozes charisma from every pores of his body.  3. Tony Leung The eyes, the eyes! Plus he'd acted in a gay movie with the late Leslie Cheung, so i figured he possesses some experiences in this field.  4. Simon Yam Same as Donnie, he sports a bronze tan regardless of the season. He plays a gigolo before too, scoring him some points for experience. Besides, you might even get to enjoy a romp with his babelicious wife, Qiqi.  5. Andy Lau Grew up listening to his songs and watching his drama serials. Might even get to find out the authencity about the persistent rumours on his sexuality.  6. Barney The icon, seen surfing here. Random Link of the Day Cute Overload! ;) Everything cute under the sun (Link via Ooof)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:11 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
Dominant Traits53% of people think that Tham Ying Wai is dependable All Percentagesable (15%) accepting (0%) adaptable (7%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (7%) cheerful (30%) clever (7%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (53%) dignified (15%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (61%) giving (0%) happy (15%) helpful (15%) idealistic (0%) independent (15%) ingenious (7%) intelligent (30%) introverted (23%) kind (7%) knowledgable (15%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (15%) modest (15%) nervous (0%) observant (23%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (15%) reflective (7%) relaxed (7%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (7%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (15%) sentimental (7%) shy (23%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (7%) tense (0%) trustworthy (15%) warm (7%) wise (0%) witty (53%) Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 20.2.2006, using data from 13 respondents. You can make your own Johari Window, or view Tham Ying Wai's full data. I would like to thank the 13 person who were coerce into doing the census, as evident by the existence of an "unwilling soul" among the list of respondents.
Given 61% of the respondents think that i'm friendly, i shudders to think why gals alway get frightened and cry for help whenver i tried to pick them up. Or why none of the 53% of the respondents allow me to be near their money, given that i'm so dependable in their eyes. Random Quote of the Day "Because we have no technical players we need a potato field, so we play on a potato field." "Maybe you should ask Barcelona why they have so many injuries, they have a lot of knee problems. Maybe their pitch is too good." Jose Mourinho, replying to the criticism of the pitch at Stamford Bridge with his usual witty sacarsm.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:36 AM
Friday, February 17, 2006
Call it egoistic or narcissistic, but tyw would like to find out what you think of him through this simple webpage below. The deadline is Sunday 2359, after which i will tabulate the results and post the findings here. Oooh, im getting excitied. Click here to take part in tyw's Census 2006
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 1:31 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
sammm, 5 jobs you’ve had in your life: 1. Data entry clerk at Exclusiv Motors. Boring job saw me sitting in front of a internet-less PC, keying in tons of data from lucky draw coupons. 2. Mr.Bao Sua Bao Hai at Disco Hi-Tec. I did filing, sales enquiries, quotations, purchase orders, sales returns, stock taking, store inventories, loading/unloading. At least the food near my office was pretty tasty. 3. Audit Intern at C.S.Chan & Co. Don't ask me why i ended up there. Good and nice co-workers. Once again, the food was great. 4. Mattress tester. Sadly, i only get to test the same old mattress in the same old environment. 5. Ongoing job of smelling the air for any impurities. To date, am not paid for anything. 5 movies you could watch over and over: 1. 英雄本色 aka A Better Tomorrow 2. LOTR trilogy, though i only watched it once. 3. Star Wars 4-6 4. Usual suspects, Keyzer Soze. Nuff said. 5. Kill Bill 1. Make the fanboy inside me happy. 5 TV shows you love(d) to watch: 1. The Simpsons 2. Desperate Housewives 3. Lost 4. 大时代 5. WWE Raw/WCW Nitro 5 places you’ve lived: 1. Bedok North Ave 4 2. Tampines St 82 3. 20SA HQ QM Bunk/ Amoy Quee Guardroom 4. BMTC Sch2 Whiskey Platoon 3 Section 2 Bed 3 5. Hall 14/12/10 5 places you’ve been on vacation to: 1. Perth 2. HK/Macau/Shenzhen 3. Tokyo/Osaka 4. Taipei/Kaoshuing 5. Bangkok 5 places you would rather be: 1. Tyneside 2. Russia 3. Japan 4. Hong Kong 5. Springfield of The Simpson's fame 5 of your favourite foods: 1. Anything egg, maybe with the exception of bittergourd with egg 2. Roti Prata 3. Mushroom Swiss Burger from BK 4. Muffins/chicken pie/curry puffs from this shop in Sunshine Plaza 5. Broccoli, recent fave vege of mine. 5 of your favourite beverages: 1. Horlick Peng Gao, Extra Thick Ice Horlick 2. Melted Chocolate 3. Coke, Coke Lights are for wussies. 4. This fizzy apple drink from a China brand. 5. Milo 5 (or more) websites you visit daily: 1. Er.. this blog 2. CBS Sportsline's NBA 3. Nufc Forum 4. Newsnow Newcastle 5. Tokyotosho 5 people I’ll tag : People who Random Conversation of the Day: "Wah lau, damn dui. I missed out on two wu tais games during last night Mahjong session." Overheard in the toilet, where two random chaps in adjacent cubicles were yakking in between clearing their bowels. A glowing testament to the intelligent game.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 6:42 PM
Monday, February 13, 2006
Alone on Valentine Day? Fret not as tyw compile a guide on how to spend your bachelor's Valentine Day besides watching
The Companions The first way to end the rot is to find a companion. Going out with a gal on this day would send all the wrong signals, unless you intend it to be that way. Alternatively, you can round up your fellow bachelors for a night of fun. Notes of caution though, avoid crestfallen depressed chaps unless you want to spend your night listening to endless whining. The Activities Watching Movies Once again, watching movies on V-day can be a double edge sword. Romantic flicks will only make you more depressed and the cinema would be packed with lovebirds. Watching comedies are recommended, as laughter can make you forget about your single woes. However with the only comedy being Fun with Dick and Jane, it would be advisable to skip it lest your partner gets the wrong impression. Visiting the Red Light District Missed the feeling of being loved? Why not pay a visit to Singapore's famous red light district, Geylang? As Miss fmq has kindly pointed out, the ladies who selflessly sacrifice their Valentine Day will be in great demand, so expect to pay more. Besides participating in some hanky-panky, Geylang is also a place for cheap but good chow. If you are unwilling to part with the extra money, I would suggest Changi Village for some alternative lurveee, only if you can bear with the husky gruff sweet talk. Visiting Parks Fancy embarking on a paranormal trail on Valentine Day? Pay a visit to Singapore’s famous parks then. Singapore parks are known for their spooky vibrating cars and shrubs and bushes that shakes unexpectedly at nights, expect such paranormal activities to pick up on Valentine night. You never know what you might see inside the cars and behind the bushes. Photo taking Selling flowers on Valentine Day as a business opportunity is way over rated. Every father mother son is selling flowers on this day, squeezing the already thin profit margin. For a greater profit margin, why not invest in a Polaroid camera and start snapping away. Mind you, my business plan isn’t simply snapping at any regular John-Jane lovebirds. Pertaining to the vibrating cars and eerie shaking bushes mentioned earlier, sometimes the source of the vibrations might just be due to some cheapos lovebirds that can't even bear to book a hotel for their merry making. Snap a photo with your trusty Polaroid and threaten to post it on Sammyboy. Since it's Valentine Day, most lovers are in a generous and giving mood, so expect a huge windfall for your lovely taken photo.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 10:53 PM
   Random Quote of the Day It's like you just had a good fuck and the gal tells you she's a transvestite. tyw, after his friend informed him that he missed out on a discount only after he placed an order for his Threadless t shirts.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:11 AM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Remembered the lucky 50 cents coin? Yes, i finally decided that its time to punt it on the TOTO HongBao Draw. $10 million dollars, come to your PAPA!! Besides using my 50cents, a group of five of us(Me,FYP mates MKI and II, James and YS) decided to pool our money together to purchase a $105 System 10 ticket.  The lucky charm resting snugly in my wallet.  No, not an AV actor. Just a fellow partner in our System 10 bet.  CCB, look at the length of the queue. It's like bloody 20m long.  FYP mate II succumbing to the temptation.  Progress! but still stuck at the chillers.  Finally, i can see the counter!!  A few more people separate me and the end of the 40 minutes wait.  One last touch of my lucky charm before i bid it farewell.  The end product, two sets of sucky numbers. KNN. Random Link of the Day Hitzfeld for the Toon!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 8:11 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Dew informed me the other night that Cleo is coming down to NTU to rate the fashion senses of our undergraduates, and pit it against the other two local varsities. Since Dew isn't coming to school on the judging date, we reckoned that NTU's chances of winning the contest will be dealt a heavy blow.  So in order to mitigate for Dew's absence, we would like to appeal to everyone to embrace the "dressed to kill" mentality for the judging session tomorrow. Come dressed in your miniest of mini skirts, reveal half balls if you have to, we NTU students are going to correct the misconception that we are boring, less savvy compared to our counterparts. We are also appealing for to student bodies to organize a "Free Food Giveaway" at Nayang Auditorium to coincide with the judging period so that the average dressed chaps(which im a part of) won't go to Canteen A. It is also regretable that due to our packed schedule, we were unable to lead a group of PT kit clad ( ie ARMY singlets, super short shorts and New Balance Running Shoes) students to impose as SMU and NUS students and sabotage their bids to be the "Best Dressed Varsitiy" in Singapore. COME ON NTU, let us unite and kick their ASSES!!!!!!
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 11:19 PM
Monday, February 06, 2006
On the 3rd of February， a group of ex and current WSC volunteers met up at Esplanade's Thai Express for a farewell dinner for 夜的诗人 , who's leaving for China for his IA. The food was pretty delicious, although we were stumped with the identification of the dishes when it were brought to our table due to our inability to comprehend the Thai lingo. After the dinner, which also saw me downed more than 6 glasses of water, we adjourned to One Fullerton for a Normally any fireworks display would be the highlight of the night, but it was eclipsed by the following conversation. Nanli, teasing the newly attached Yuet, asked about her views on pregnancy. Nanli: So Yuet, what's your views on being pregnant? Yuet: I'm quite fearful about it lor. It's like you entering a new phase of your life. Nanli: I think it should be more like a new life entering your body. Random Quote of the Day 'I am in a hurry because I must go to the hospital because the injury was so serious that maybe he (Robben) will be there for one week,' 'But you can see on the TV that he will be three weeks in the hospital with the neck broken, I don't know.' 'If you dive, maybe he has broken his neck. William Gallas was touching Reina but did Reina dive? No.' Rafa Benitez on Arjen Robben, the footballer/thespian/Olympic Diver.
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 6:55 PM
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Ok it's 初七 now, so i'm only five days late. Someone should reward me for my punctuality.  According to Chinese customs, 初二 of CNY is the day where the guy is supposed to visit the in-laws, ie the wifey's family. Being the fat unwanted bachelor that i am, i decided to join 5 others bachelors and another happily attached chap to pig out at this pizza joint after watching 霍元甲(The Fearless) .
The pizza was huge and the conversations were funny as usual. We reminisced on how we were terrorised by our secondary school physic teacher, how he once threw chalks at one of my friend, scolded my classmate till he daren't appear in class etc. Somehow the topic drifted to tennis, and we observed that tennis players loved grunting during matches. This got us thinking, would those who regularly grunt during the clearance of their bowels make good tennis players? Random Link of the Day The lowdown on 犯太岁(Fan Tai Sui). (PS:Not suitable for Kan Tangs, ie in chinese)
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 7:53 PM
Friday, February 03, 2006
It's official, the parasitical imbecile is finally relieved of his post. 020206 is going to be the happiest day of 2006, that is until the day i bed Lin Chiling. On an unrelated note, i finally figured out why two soldiers are needed for prowling during guard duties. Given that live ammunitions are only loaded in event of contacting with hostile intruders, one would have to take out the dummy magazine clip from the rifle, open up the SBO pouch, take out the loaded magazine clip, load the clip, cock the weapon before finally shooting. While the soldier is at it, the intruders could probably take a leak and light up a cigarette or two before stabbing or shooting the soldier.
This is where the additional soldier comes in handy. He could go buy some time by chatting up with the intruders, light their cigarettes, maybe whine about the cookhouse food before his counterpart finally loads his weapon. If all else fail, he can act as a human shield in return for a few glamorous photo on the obituary. Random Link of the Day Tsk tsk, local spoof of the Star Wars
posted by Stormtrooper's Lackey at 12:12 AM
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